


The Therapist

by Charlie0831



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who RPF
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Mattex Fic Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-06 06:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20502770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie0831/pseuds/Charlie0831
Summary: Matt Smith is a Virgin with severe intimacy issues and starts to receive treatment from a  very sexy and unique Therapist. Basically just a bit of fun smut LOL





	1. The blue Door

Doctor Matthew Smith could have any woman he desired. He was incredibly rich and according to his many admirers, incredibly handsome...although he could not see the latter part of that statement himself mind!   
No, when Matthew Smith looked in the mirror all he saw was an object ...an object that makes money through his many astounding inventions and an object of desire that women would be willing to throw themselves up against. Perhaps it was his wealth or perhaps it was his looks..but either way, the women who sought his affections didn't last. He dated of course he did...he loved the conversations, the laughter and the thrill of the chase, like a greyhound chasing a lure ...although not as smooth and swift as one! Anyway as soon as things progressed with a woman into something more than what could be considered a friendship, he broke...he ran...he hid as a rabbit would evading the drooling fangs of a hungry vixen.   
Holding hands was ok and cuddles were nice ...but a wandering hand made him nervous and a kiss made scream and not scream in the sense you would imagine...the scream inside would be torturous and he would fight with failing limbs and the girl would obviously back away at this strange flustering tribal dance. Usually, he would just back away anyway before something began... too tired to do battle yet again, so yes a simple kiss was difficult and sex….hmmm sex... well let's not even go there... because Matt Smith certainly never had!

He entered the familiar modern and neutrally toned room for the regular Therapy session he had become accustomed to of late. It was his eighteenth session with Dr Jones and he could tell by exasperated the look on her face that he wasn't her favorite patient by any means!   
“Hi, Matt take a seat....anything exciting happen since our last session?”   
Matt ran a hand through his hair, he knew he was already going to disappoint her with his complete lack of progress...but he kinda figures she knew that too! “No nothing to report..i went dancing like you suggested with Amy's friend Rose.... we went out for a meal first and got on really well...ya know she was interesting and fun. I was fine until she wanted to go to `The Tardis` dancing. We danced and it was great, felt quite relaxed at first, but I think she had one two many though and started to get a bit flirty with me...leaning on me and wrapping her hands around my neck like she wanted a snog or something. I just panicked...i wasn't sure where to put my hands again, i thought she was going to kiss me... not that I would have minded if i could have calmed myself down...even for a bloody second.  
I just brushed her off hastily and got the hell out of there in sheer embarrassment...so anyway you can imagine how well that went down!!”

He sighed “sorry...i fucked up again, didn't i? And I forgot to breathe through it, as you told me to!!”  
Dr Jones took a deep breath and leaned over to grab the mini rake for her therapeutic mini sandbox and scribbled it through the sand in various circles and patterns. She was in a moment of deep thought and silence for a minute or so as Matt waited patiently and slightly unnerved by her peculiar trance-like state!   
She suddenly stopped and her eyes immediately flicked to his...she smiled as Matt shuffled uncomfortably in the seat.  
“Matt...you have been coming to me for what...two months now, haven't you?”   
“Um yeah...yes about that i think”   
She nodded “and before me, you saw Dr Noble, am I right?”   
He scratched his cheek nervously “Yeah, that's right...um...are you sending me to someone else now...have you given up on me too?” He gave an awkward chuckle...Matt didn't want to sound defeated but he actually was starting to feel like he was perhaps a lost cause in all this. Two sex therapists...and barley any improvement...he couldn't even entertain a simple snog for christ sakes.

Perhaps he was destined for a life of solitude...perhaps this was it for him, because let's face it, he was a 26-year-old virgin with no girlfriend, no prospects of marriage, or a family, he didn't even the ability to have a fun one-off shag and brag about it to his mates.   
He started these Therapy sessions in an embarrassing last-ditch effort to heal this treacherous disease...because that's what it felt like it was...a disease...it was eating away at him while he longed for intimacy and touch and the closeness of another. His body repealed his desires like a woman would burn his skin as if she was made of acid or hot coals. Perhaps he was never meant to feel the love of another and be loved like that in return...maybe now was the time to give up and stop fighting for his dream of a woman to love!  
Doctor Jones stood up and walked to the drawers at the corner of the room, she pulled out a book and quietly scrolled down with her finger, when she found what she was looking for she took a small piece of paper and wrote down an address and number. She handed it to Matt and he looked at the top where above the address it read... “Dr R Song`.   
He looked up, “So you are giving up on me then...i don't think i want to go through all this again...it clearly isn't working for me Jonesy”   
Dr Jones Sat back down and started to draw in the sand again “Your right Matt, this isn't working for you...a normal sex therapist isn't going to work for you at all...that is why i have referred you over to Dr Song!”   
Matt looked down at the name on the paper and back up to Dr Jones he took another deep breath clearly feeling hopeless but still slightly intrigued all the same, “well what is it that this Dr can do for me that you can’t?” Dr Jones smirked “let’s just say Dr Song works with extreme cases such as yourself and has her own unique and slightly eccentric way to get you to face your demons. She is amazing at what she does and if anyone can help you she can I'm sure!   
I will let her know about your interest and hand over your records, but she will probably want to start from scratch with you to be honest...she is very thorough both mentally and physically!”   
Matt cleared his throat “Err physically?? What do you mean by physically?” Martha smiled ... Just make an appointment Matt and she will run you by the details of your treatment if you would like to proceed with her...but please...just trust me on this...make an appointment!!”

Eight days had passed and Matt had phoned the Number Dr Jones had given him...what had he got to lose anyway. He made an early appointment with her secretary Donna something and decide if this new Doctor and her `what did Jonesy say?... unique and eccentric techniques`...well anyway, if this bloody weirdo Doctor was unable to help him, then that was it. He couldn't do this anymore...he would resign himself to be forever alone and settle for the comfort of his own hand in the shower at desperate times of need.   
oh yes...what a pitiful existence he had!!

Session 1

Matt was sat in the waiting room opposite a strange ginger woman at the front desk filing her nails...she made him jump with an almighty“OY” ...Matt jumped with a squeak and felt exceptionally guilty but didn't quite know what for, he held a hand to his chest...“what ...i haven't done anything have i?”   
She rolled her eyes and pointed to his foot, “your tapping your leg like a mad man, stop it. She's very nice Miss Song, so stop stressing with your Lanky limbs jiggling all over the place, she's not gonna bite your todger off or anything...well..not today anyway!” She laughed…” oh just a minute.”   
Matt swallowed eyes wide as the sun and was just about to bolt out the front revolving doors like the roadrunner possessed.   
Then the ginger woman spoke again rather poshly this time.“Dr Song will see you now Mr Smith...room 7”.   
He took a deep breath and paced past a few doors until he came upon Room 7 the door unlike all the rest boring white ones, it was blue and there was a gold plaque…`Dr River Song` ...hmm great sounds like a freaking superhero, thanks for this Jonsey!!!...Better get this over with then`. He ran a hand through his hair and knocked on the door twice. 

“Come in Matthew” He opened the door to a pretty spacious room, it actually looked more like a living room with the comfort of the chaise longue by an unlit fireplace and various pieces of strange furniture. The walls dawned fascinating abstract art along with weird antiquities that could quite possibly have belonged in a museum. It was cozy to say the least given the rather unusual and unexpected space within. There was a long velvety blue striped curtain hung down one of the walls perhaps leading to another room he guessed, If it were not for the Old wooden desk at the far end of this exotic chamber...he could have been duped into thinking this was someone's actual home and definitely not a Doctor's Therapy room!.   
After surveying his new but rather interesting surroundings his eyes were immediately drawn to the woman sitting behind the Antique rosewood desk. A woman that was as unique and as intriguing as the furniture that surrounded her.   
She had golden curly hair that reflected the light off every tendril, like the sunshine reflecting off rippling water. Her skin was flawless and slightly touched by the kiss of a faraway land. She gazed through piercing emerald green eyes that abruptly enchanted the air away from his lungs like wildfire and the glasses perched on a strangely seductive bump upon her nose made her look clever and classy and rather erotically professorish!   
She smiled at him and raised her eyebrows, leaning back into the old leather creaking office chair while swiping the glasses away from her face...she bit the end of them in a teasing but contemplating gesture taking in the man before her.   
She eyed him curiously from his quite tatty Black laced loafers, trendy tight pants, and a rather nicely fitted pale colored shirt. An unusual but handsome face to say the least and a rather luxurious head of brown floppy hair.   
She finally made a break in the silence eventually “Your welcome to come closer Matthew, I promise I won't bite…...much!!” She winked…..

`FUCKKKKKK` He swallowed his heart back down out of his throat and willed the air back into his lungs before he could finally speak and move his apparently frozen limbs again.   
“Oh um yeah, sorry “ He paced towards her as she gestured to the chair opposite her desk for him to sit in...which he did so hastily. His fingers twitched nervously on his lap as he sat and his leg began to bounce unconsciously in an eruption of anxious energy. She noticed his nerves immediately but paid no mind to them and beamed at him brightly leaning across the desk to offer her hand as a welcome gift, “So nice to meet you Matthew...or do I call you Matt?”   
He wiped his sweaty palm considerately against his trousers before offering her his hand to shake. Her hand was small and warm and fits perfectly with his he noticed in the brief moment they shared contact together. “Most people call me Matt, but anything is fine really...and you must be Dr Song I presume!”   
She giggled and his heart skipped a beat `shit what was that?` 

“You presume right Matt, but you can call me River if you like, i know it's not what most professionals do starting off on a first name basis...but then again I'm not like most professionals am i?!”   
Matt cleared his throat, still trying to adjust to the fact that his new Doctor was evidently the sexiest woman he’d ever seen in his life! “Well I've heard your methods are quite different...but that's all i actually know I'm afraid... Err I don't know what it is exactly you can do for me Dr Song...um River...what i mean is that, well Dr Jones sent me here adamant that you could help me with my... erm thing, problem...whatever and well anyway, i don't know if she told you, but to be honest with you i think I'm a lost cause in all reality!   
I have already had two failed therapists now and not even an inch of progress has been made... through no fault of their own I assure you. I’m just difficult i guess...possibly totally incurable.   
So i don't mean to be rude or anything River...but what is it that you could do differently for me that they didn't do?” 

She smiled and stood to walk around the desk and perched her curvaceous bum on the edge of it close to Matt. She wore a nice flowing pale green shirt that showed a hint of her amazing cleavage that was tucked into a fitted tight black skirt which showed off her perfectly toned legs. The low black heels she wore looked comfy yet classy…` fuck shes hot`   
Matt cleared his throat again and shuffled, unsure what to do in close proximity.  
River finally spoke, “I have read your file Matt and you're a young guy... a very attractive guy if i may be so bold as to say.” Matt Blushed, “But you're definitely not a lost cause Matthew, and there is nothing for me to cure because you don't have a disease or a terminal illness, so before anything, you really need to stop treating it as one!   
This is a psychological problem yes...but one that I'm sure we could solve together.”  
Matt ran a hand through his hair “Well...um, how do you plan on doing that River?” 

River looked down to her shoes briefly, considering her chosen words carefully, she was confident in her methods...she had a 100% track record so far for christ sakes, but this first session with her patients was always the most important one. It was tricky if the said person was flighty and liable to do a runner at any given moment. It was about trust at the end of the day and that didn't come easily with someone new who had not simply developed this as a recent problem, but from what his records show he was a virgin and had been this way struggling since puberty. Matt was desperate and incredibly delicate even, he was struggling with life and had been for a long long time.   
From what he had just told her he had already practically given up on himself...he was alone, unconfident and silently suffering with something that he couldn't easily talk about with most people and it was now up to her to convince him to work with her in a way that would be truly terrifying to him!!! 

“I not only work with you mentally Matt, i work with you physically...sexually...and before you fly away like a spitfire please hear me out!”   
She brushed a curl behind her ear, “Therapists out there work with you mentally... they study your psychological deficiencies and after discussing the reasons behind your psychological traits they give you methods on how to correct them. Basically they give you instructions to follow but nothing solid to practice with!!! So when it comes to having a go at those methods so to speak ...your too nervous because you haven't really tried it out yet, and also because your consciously thinking that the person your trying it out on will judge you, if you make a mistake! So that's where I come in!   
We discuss your fears and insecurities and then you face them with me until you are comfortable to face them out in the real world!!!”   
She sighed and bit her lip, not quite sure he was getting the message…”i tried to put it simply for you...but if you still don't follow what I'm saying, basically... I'm a prop for snogs and shags at our appointments!”   
She smirked trying to gauge his reaction. River could see the cogs turning in Matt's mind trying desperately to process her words and understand fully what she offered!   
She stood while he was still frozen and paced over to the counter on the sidewall “I’ll just make us a cuppa shall i? “

Matt’s mouth was ajar, he was suspended in time, hanging on to his sanity by a meer thread... he couldn't move, he couldn't speak…. Rivers words swirled around his mind like a hurricane disrupting the stagnant comfort that once existed there.   
Eventually, he discovered she had moved across the room when his blood started to pump around his body again.  
“Are you a prostitute?” He blurted out, `shit did i just say that out loud?`

River merely scoffed as she was stirring the milk into the two teas, “Sugar Matt?” “Um yes 3 please”  
She smirked “my you have a sweet tooth don't you Sweetie ...and no, I'm not a prostitute Matt...never been one for hanging around on street corners if you catch my drift.!!  
Anyway, I'm pretty sure you can look up my credentials to offer you at least some peace of mind but i can tell you that I'm a highly qualified Sex Therapist who has branched out into a new type of Physical Therapy of sorts. Some Doctors agree with my methods some Doctors don’t...like everything in the medical world!  
But what it all boils down to is that I don't get paid to shag Matthew... I get paid to help you find your way when all other normal avenues have failed. People can either give up... or they can come and see me...it's as simple as that!” 

She handed him a cup of tea and walked around to sit in her chair again as he took a slow sip and brooded a moment. He brought a hand up to rub his neck as he eyed her through his fallen fringe,` she was utterly beautiful, so he knew at least a natural attraction would help him if he had to ya know...try things out...or would that attraction make it worse? He wasn't sure. Was it right to fancy his therapist? She was there to teach him and he was there to learn...there was something slightly erotic about the whole thing in all manner of speaking! `   
She eyed him back carefully in return giving him all the time and space he needed as she quietly sipped her tea too. 

`He's doing well River! Not done a runner yet. The leg-shaking has stopped too...God, I'm impressive!   
Don't speak...give him time...Hell he's pretty hot actually….fucking stop that right now Song!!!  
He’s a patient who needs your help…please say yes ...please don't run...let me help you, I want to help you, let me save you!! `

Matt took a deep breath and lowered the cup he was using as a shield against his mouth…”Ok...ok, I'll give it a go...what have I got to lose anyway apart from my virginity!”   
She beamed at him brightly as her shoulders dropped in relief of his brave decision, “you can do this Matt...i know you can! Trust me...your life is about to get a whole lot better!”   
She winked and he smiled in return. “Well, where do we start then River?”   
“Can you do same time next week Matt?”   
“Yeah that shouldn't be a problem”  
“Great, i will see you then and we will begin your first therapy session...my secretary Donna will want you to sign a few papers on your way out, but please don't worry or dwell on it ok. No sleepless nights! I want to be able to understand your worries or concerns first before any physical intimacy and even then I will talk you through anything we do and nothing will ever be done without your full understanding or consent Matt ok. I'm not here to jump your bones and make you feel uncomfortable, remember that ok?”

He stood up as he spoke, “yeah i know that...gonna be a bit weird though.”   
River walked around the desk to see him out of her office, “I can't say I'm not going to worry River, I think worry just comes with the territory of being me!”  
They stopped at the door, “You got this Matt...We got this! Your anxieties are only a natural defense like queuing up to ride a rollercoaster...you feel the anticipation... the fear and when you sit in the seat the dread of what was to come hits you. Then there's the sudden drop and before you know it you feel liberated, released, if you'll excuse the term, then it’s over and you loved it and find yourself queuing up for another round to feel the thrill again…and believe me you're gonna love this rollercoaster!!”

Matt smirked, “you sound pretty sure of your abilities are you really that talented Miss Song?”  
River smirked back in return as she opened the door “Darling you have know idea!”  
She held out her hand again and Matt wasted no time in taking hold of her soft inviting warmth once more “Pleasure to meet you Matt…see you next week and call if you need to talk in between...i won't just throw you out on a limb ok!”  
“Thank you, I appreciate that...Well...Until the next time Doctor River Song...sorry i just wanted to say the whole thing out loud...you really do sound like a superhero though”   
She laughed with a sound that vibrated his organs, “ well i do own a tight skimpy suit Matt ...but I’ll show you that some other time sweetie!”  
Matt chuckled and spoke loudly as he walked away “thanks for that image Song, gonna go take a cold shower now!`   
She laughed at his cheekiness, “Your so bloody adorable...goodbye Matthew”   
He turned briefly while he walked smiling bashfully to her as he held up his hand to wave nonchalantly. `yeah, she was in big trouble with this guy!`


	2. Session 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really want to add a picture but don't know how to do it yet??? Crys internally!!

Matt was sat waiting eagerly for his next appointment with his new super hot Therapist, opposite the same ginger woman who he has come to learn was called Donna. He made a conscious effort not to bounce his knees this time, while she typed on her computer pretending to look busy and important. She paused to give him a once over “Didn't scare you off last time then pretty boy?”  
Matt shook his head “No...she was nice like you said, was kinda looking forward to coming back actually!” Donna’s eyebrows raised as she sniggered “Yeah i bet!” She then leaned over to whisper not so quietly with a hand near her mouth... “oh and she is completely available ...don't tell her I said though will you?...she will string me up by mi tits instead of firing me!!”  
Matt blushed furiously `did he even suggest that he fancied her? Cos he did!`  
He cleared his throat “I really didn't need to know that personal information Donna!” _`Yes high fives all round shes fucking single`_  
Donna shrugged and changed her accent yet again to her posh persona “Doctor Song will see you now Mr Smith.” She made a kissy face at Matt “have fun Sunshine!”…Matt ignored her playful jesting and took a deep breath as he went to knock on the beckoning blue door once again.

“Come in Matthew”  
He opened to see River sitting on the chaise with a loose-fitting top and tight trousers. Her bare feet were curled up comfortably as she held a file in her hands, She took off her glasses and placed them on the side table.  
“Hello Sweetie, come sit... how have you been?”  
Matt smiled as he approached and took a seat in the single lounge chair nearby. “Fine i guess, working on a new invention, but nothing to report on my social movements. I suppose I'm laying low for a while...my last trip out with a girl felt a bit too pressured and didn't end well so to speak!”  
She nodded understandingly. “I have been reading some more of your files from your previous psychologists Matt” She handed him the file in case he wanted to have a browse for himself. He took it curiously and scanned through it briefly while she spoke.  
“In my first sessions, i like to find out more about the psychological aspects of why you feel the way you do. Now i know you have been to see two psychologists already so i didn't want you to feel like you had to repeat everything for a third time.  
I feel like I have a grasp on the route cause of your hesitancy though when it comes to sexual intimacy ...have you any idea what i think it could be?”  
Matt ran a hand nervously through his hair and nodded “Errr yeah i think you're referring to the events that took place from when I was 12...they...um the other Doctors said that's probably when my anxiety started to flare from.” River nodded sympathetically as Matt continued.  
“ There were a group of girls at school who bullied me! I was an ugly duckling so to speak and too small for my age, compared to the sporty boys who held their favor. They did um...well anyway, i felt worse I suppose because it's not like I was being bullied by other boys...these were girls...and that kinda felt more shameful i guess. Other girls then made me nervous after that and I suppose the fear of not being good enough...well, it just stayed with me as i grew up!”

River sighed “Yes kids can be little shits Matt and teenage girls especially are nothing but hell in their mother's high heels. Strutting about like their the most important things in the world regardless of who they trample on to gain some sort of required popular cultural status. Something like that is bound to have an effect on a developing adolescent child. You were young and sensitive and those girls took advantage of that by taunting you and making you feel belittled...but it's a weight that we are going to lift Matt ok?  
Whatever you may think you were as a child, your not that little boy anymore ...look at yourself properly Darling!  
Your a tall handsome and very intelligent guy with so much to give and so much a woman would find irresistible!... _`yeah you included River...shut up bitch`... “_  
You need to let go of the past in order to embrace the future...and it's not going to happen straight away. There isn't a magic red button we can press, it's about compromise...compromise with yourself to release a part of that burden one brick at a time ...are you ready for it?”

He chuckled “i think I've always been ready...ever since I first watched Baywatch as a kid!”  
She giggled “oh God please don't tell me you're a Pamela Anderson fan?”  
He laughed “No no...come on River please...i was a teenager I wasn't looking at their faces!”  
She laughed and unfolded her legs from the sofa to stand…” your so bloody funny...you really do have a wonderful personality Matt...no problems there i can assure you!!”  
He smiled “thank you...but your pretty nice and easy to talk to which helps doesn't it!”  
“Aww thank you too Matt...i’m going to go make us a cuppa tea over here while i finish off blushing!”  
He raised an eyebrow at that last part, feeling a moment of smug satisfaction.  
“Have you ever tried chamomile Matt?”  
“Umm no...heard of it though...don't tell me you're into that herbal rubbish Song”  
“Rubbish...really Matt...have you seen how many varieties there are...i love teas!”  
She walked back over and handed him a cup, “here try this”,  
He took it as she went to sit back on the chaise taking a steady sip. “Trying to drug me with chamomile or something?” he chuckled before giving it a sniff!  
She smirked, “chamomile has natural relaxing properties Matt...whenever i have trouble sleeping a cup of this is a lifesaver believe me...what do you think!”  
He hummed and nodded “actually it's not as bad as i thought...quite nice really…”  
“Nothing is ever as bad as you think it is going to be Matt...and sometimes you may be pleasantly surprised!”

They sipped their tea in comfortable silence a few minutes before River eyed him and spoke. “Tell me Matt...is there anything you wish to be able to achieve first?”  
Matt lowered his cup into his lap as he thought...then he cleared his throat a bit before quietly speaking “Kiss...err kissing i guess...they always expect a kiss when you've been out on a few dates...that's where it usually goes pear-shaped!”  
River took another tentative sip of her tea while she watched him closely seeing him tense at the mere sound of the word `kissing`  
“What are you scared of?”  
He sighed, “I guess making a fool out of myself, doing it wrong, other people laughing behind my back. I’m overthinking it i know...i can't help it...i never know what to do with my hands either…and while I'm thinking about my hands, i forget my mouth and when I forget my mouth ...well...things go very badly wrong! One time a girl put a tongue in there and I was thinking too much about how I should be doing it, that when she stuck it in there I was unprepared and it scared the shit out of me. Anyway I pushed her away...so yeah that was not a good day...not a good day at all”  
He looked down in remembrance and embarrassment!

“Things happen Matt, don't let it put you off Darling ...I erm, i can show you some pointers if you like?”  
His eyes looked up immediately and widened at the abrupt suggestion she had put so simply like she was going to teach him how to bake a cake or something! His heart began to race and he felt his body heating up with the mere thought. Sweat started gathering in his pits like Niagra Falls. `_`this is why you're here Matt...pull yourself together, you pathetic, useless, wimp.._.all the things the girls use to say about him ping-ponging around his head and he still is a ..._Useless...Pathetic...Wimp_...feels like it on a daily basis anyway!`.

He had to remind himself that he was here to learn with someone who understood though, and she did understand. River laughed at his jokes but never at his problems in that sort of way which would belittle him. She made him feel comfortable and treated him not like a Therapist but as a friend...and that's what pushed him to make his decision!  
“Oh um ok ...i errr...ok then!”  
She smiled and put her cup down and walked over to him taking away his cup and placing it carefully on the side ...”Ok, stand up for me Matt...lets see you!”  
He stood abruptly and solid like a soldier adjusting his shirt a bit then brought his hands to his sides and clenched his fists as if awaiting to be shot on the firing range!  
Alex stood in front of him and giggled, “I forgot how tall you were...plus I have no shoes on...this may require tiptoes!”  
Matt smiled a bit of tension leaving his shoulders as she spoke `he loved her voice, it was like a soothing balm!`  
“Ok here's how it's going to work...i will make the first moves to start...I won't use tongues or anything unless you instigate it to try out so don't panic about that. Just a nice simple prolonged kiss ok...give me your hands.  
Matt held out his clenched fists...she took them gently unfurling them slowly until she held his hands fondly in hers, she gave his arms a playful wiggle “Let's loosen you up a bit shall we ...you appear to have robotic arms Mr Smith!”  
He shook his head already feeling a wave of embarrassment come over him “Sorry i just”  
She shook her head and let go of a hand to place a finger lips to silence him “No...you do not apologize Matt...that’s one of my rules and its important...there is no right or wrong here...nobody is judging you...we are just trying something out and seeing how it goes...there are no mistakes...only ways to improve...understand?”  
He nodded quietly ` bloody hell he imagined sucking that delicate warm finger that she held seductively against his lips.._.` what's gotten into you Smith?`_

River gave his hands and arms another wiggle until she was satisfied that at least his upper limbs were a bit more relaxed.  
”Ok, now you said you worried about where to put your hands...when in doubt always go for your partners hips”. She placed his hands directly onto her hips as she stepped closer to him. Matt swallowed as she entered his space. `_oh- my- God she smells so bloody good...must hold my breath...don't breath Matt...Breath and you're dead...you can’t risk it Mate!`_  
“This is the safest option if your concerned because your partner can move away if she desires or can step closer if she wishes...it's not presumptuous like to say if you held my arse i would think you were proper horny and wanted a shag then and there against the wall” Matt's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the image of taking River against the wall already making him twitch below…_` shit!` …_  
“ so that's really not good for a first date.  
Anyway, i guess we are treating this as a first date scenario and not running hands up and down backs or holding faces to push our kisses deeper”…  
_`don’t pass out Matt you wanker`…_  
”so all you have to think of is hips ...nice and simple hips...then you can, of course, focus on the best bit...the kiss”  
She winked and Matt’s face was now going red as a beetroot as he played every one of those scenarios in his head on instant replay. _`I’m already fucked!`_

River stepped out of his embrace to let him breath “everything ok so far...you still feel like you want to try…?”  
He rolled his shoulders and bent his neck from side to side like he was about to run for an Olympic gold medal. _`gonna kiss River...Gonna Kiss River Song...god she's beautiful…. too beautiful for you ya knob, but she's letting you kiss her….christ what the_ _hell are you doing here...run... run forest run...runaway….no fuck no...stay and snog her senseless you complete and utter useless fucking arsehole!`_

  
Matt squeaked out a “Yes...yes I'm ok...I'm ready when you are”  
She nodded and gave a cheeky smile before she walked up to him confidently and placed her lips on his, she felt warm and soft...there was no pressure placed upon him, she was gentle and opened up slowly encouraging his lips to part with hers. They did but she could feel his arms struggling kinda flapping at the side and she grabbed them instinctively to place them on her hips, helping to ground him. She opened her lips more as her hand slid up over the top of his shirt to rest on his chest, the movement was slow and delicate and felt rather nice actually, he had never felt so at ease before knowing that this person in front of him understood him, wouldn't judge him, or laugh. She brought a calming balm upon his lips and a taste of hope he had never dreamed possible.  
Matt almost felt betrayed and pained when she pulled away, to look into his eyes, her soft seductive smile like a drug to him. “You did amazing darling..how did it feel?”  
He licked his lips unconsciously “it errr...it felt good...um very good actually ...err thank you...um but i forgot my hand at first though didn't i!”  
She smirked, “doesn't matter Darling, you were brilliant, you Wanna try again...same technique...no surprises?”  
He didn't hesitate this time “yes...um yes please if that's ok River”  
She giggled as she stepped away again giving him his space once more… “I don't think I've ever had anyone as polite as you Matt, you're going to make a very attentive lover i can see that already...you're doing amazing!”  
Matt blushed profusely but was actually rather quite pleased with himself…_` way ta go Matt your the teacher's pet...screw you arseholes, she loves me the most HA`_  
“Ready”  
He gave a thumbs up…”Hips….i got this River I'm Ready” his confidence finally starting to breakthrough  
_`why does he have to be so utterly adorable ...look at him standing there all sexy hotness and waiting for you...God i just want to shag his brains out ...STOP... stop right there!! ...Patient...he's your patient River you can't feel that way about him!!`_

She did the same as last time and Matt's hand steadied her hips...the kiss was a bit deeper this time, their mouths moved fluidly together, perfectly lost in sensual senses of touch and taste as Matts confidence slowly grew, the kiss felt good...exquisite...she felt exquisite against him.  
Her warmth, her smell, her touch, and taste, she was everything...everything he had always longed to feel...to have this sort of intimate connection with someone...he wanted to try something with his newfound confidence and his tongue flicked out briefly testing the water carefully.  
River smiled against him and she returned the gesture encouragingly, so he tried a bit more this time and she did the same until their tongues met and entwined like lovers...Matt's heart began to race and heat suddenly surged through his body ...she felt amazing...but it was also terrifying...these feelings were new and unexpected and caused him to break apart panting and gasping for breath, as blood pulsed around his body it had felt amazing...she was amazing and that scared him senseless!  
He still did not let go of her hips though, he wanted her close and she didn't push him away! She was slightly breathless too when she spoke ...which he was surprised and secretly pleased about, “wow Matt...sorry... was that too much for you? Are you ok…? That was ...i mean it was ...are you ok?” Her heart was beating fast too…_` what the hell River...get a hold of yourself woman...fuck that was hot!!!`_

Matt gathered his senses as his breathing evened out while Rivers hands still rested comfortingly on his chest … “yeah I'm fine...i just got a bit dizzy i think...is that normal? Was i rubbish?”

River shook her head “Don’t worry about your body getting excited Matt it's perfectly normal to feel those things inside and honestly, you were amazing, beyond perfect really... any girl you kiss out there like that will be ruined for any other man...believe me!!”  
Matt looked into her eyes with a somewhat serious expression that made her slightly nervous before him, his tone low and filled with something she couldn't quite put her finger on.  
“Have I ruined you River?”  
She found herself having to step away from his embrace...he was her patient and she had felt something in that moment she shouldn't have. She went to gather up their cups as a distraction from her feelings on the matter, sighing “ Darling please...this is my job...i have to place some walls up in order to help my patients don’t i ?...Where would I be if I let those walls down while working?  
So just trust me when i say to you that it was a wonderful kiss...and whoever you do that to will be an incredibly lucky girl...i’m really proud of you Matt, you should be proud of yourself too Sweetie!”

`_She avoided the question...did she feel something too?...perhaps theses feeling i have would feel the same with another woman, perhaps they aren't unique to her...perhaps this is just normal and i would feel the same sensations if i snogged the scary secretary down the hall. The only way to find out would be to try it on someone else i suppose. Yeah, she’s my Therapist ...i don't fancy her and she doesn't fancy me...christ i bet i’m the 3rd patient she has done this to today...it means nothing to her. Stupid Matt, just focus and learn, then you can get out there to the big wide world and find the woman of your dreams...ONLY REQUIREMENT - SHE MUST BE EXACTLY LIKE RIVER SONG!!!`_

That evening Matt went around to Amy and Rory's house for dinner...they were his closest friends and were the only ones who knew about his problem with sexual intimacy.  
Rory was cooking while Matt and Amy sat on the kitchen stools sipping wine all mature and adult-like!  
“So how did your first proper session go with Sexy Song today then Smithy...shagged her senseless yet?”  
Matt chuckled “Rory can you tell her to stop taking the piss please...and her name is River by the way!!”  
Rory laughed…” well you did mention she was sexy Mate...you should know Amy won't let that one go by any standards and i would tell her how today went before she gets the torture equiptment out and starts puling off your toe nails!”  
Matt grinned like a Cheshire cat, “Hmmm, no need for such brutality Ponds because today my good fellows I finally learned how to snog and got an A star!”  
Amy squealed and put down her wine glass quickly so she could throw her arms around him. “Oh my god, you did not...i don't believe it...Rory, he snogged River!!!...Show me ...you have to show me right now... are you any good at it?”...Amy puckered up while Rory rolled his eyes as Matt squirmed backwards in sheer disgust “Rory control your tipsy wife please!”  
Rory sighed “Nah, that's not going to happen mate...there is no controlling that one, she who cannot be tamed!”  
Amy finally let go of Matt with a pouty lip…” well fine...but you don't know what your missing Smith...i’m an amazing kisser!!”  
Matt shrugged his shoulders smiling “yeah well so am i apparently, River said i was beyond perfect and would ruin a girl for any other man!”  
Amy took a slow deliberate sip of her wine while she looked at his fond expression carefully, Her eyes widened as she saw the obvious flicker across his face, “oh my God Matt, you proper fancy her don't you?”  
Matt spluttered out his wine and Rory dropped the butter he retrieved from the fridge on the floor.

“What...NO...i do not fancy my Sex Therapist Amy...she's teaching me physical intimacy ...but that's where it ends!” Amy raised her eyebrows knowingly “  
“Rory tell her ...Amy don't give me that look ok. She's the first woman i have properly kissed in...what, forever, so I'm not going to feel blase about it or her am i?”  
Rory put the butter onto the counter “Amy perhaps you could introduce your friend Clara to Matt now...ya know she’s been asking about him ever since we all went to the White Swan that night….you liked Clara didn't you Matt?”  
He ran a hand through his hair thinking back to the event in question, “Err yeah i guess i did...she seemed pretty nice, school teacher isn't she?? But that was a while ago, is she still single and well...interested?”  
Amy nodded “Yeah she is, I'm meeting her for coffee on Friday, are you sure you want to risk it right now though Matt? I mean i know you've progressed amazingly with this Sexy Song woman in such a short space of time...but I don't want you to feel like you have to rush into anything!”  
Matt thought for a moment...should he? Could he?  
If he did meet up with this Clara it would be just chatting first anyway right?... Then he still had time to learn new things with River in the meantime! He also wanted to try out his kissing technique on someone else...but was that wrong though…_” excuse me can i just snog you while i check to see if i feel flutters in my heart and a surge of confusing chemicals rushing through my bloodstream that threaten to consume my very being. Because that's what i felt when i kissed my very beautiful sex therapist River Song who just happens to make me go week at the knees when she giggles?”..._  
No perhaps he should leave that part out!

“Ya know what Amy just do it...get me her number please, I would have asked her out in the pub that night anyway if i could have coped! And now i feel like i can...well sort of anyway...so i want to try this, .i have to make a start somewhere don't i? She was very pretty and interesting and she made me laugh, so i would very much like a date with her if she's at all still interested in me!”  
Rory walked around and patted him on the back “Nice one pal, she's a good Fish that Clara...proud of you mate...you can do this!”  
Amy was still looking at him with an unreadable expression before she shook it off.  
“Well if you insist Smith Dawg...but if she gets a snog out of you before me i won't be very happy about it!

“AMY!” both Rory and Matt shouted together!


	3. Session 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River tries her best to maintain professionalism with Matt, but as always he has the ability to break down her walls. Matt takes more steps in intimacy, and more steps that will eventually break his heart if he is ever discharged from her company!

“Doctor Song will see you now!” Matt entered Rivers office once again. She was sitting behind her desk eating a salad as she looked up at him with her usual warm and welcoming smile. “Hi Darling, i hope you don't mind, got a bit behind with things today and missed lunch” Matt took a seat smiling back, “No its fine...Go ahead...I'm sure you need your energy when it comes to dealing with me anyway!” He smirked and River raised her eyebrows as she laughed. “I’m sure i do...i think you zapped it all out of me last week with your incredible snogs Matt!” She bit her lip briefly remembering the incredible feel of his mouth against hers...then quickly shaking it off before continuing... “Anyway, how're things been going for you, anything to report?” He scratched his cheek, “Um, yeah actually... I err...i have a date tomorrow!” River dropped her fork in the salad, nearly choking on a piece of cucumber...then picked it back up again nonchalantly while clearing her throat. “wow... that's err...that's really great news Matt...are you feeling ok about it all?” Matt sighed “yeah i think so. I’ve met her before...she's a friend of a friend and seems really nice. And well last week went so good for me...um, with you, I just dove in at the deep end i suppose. Thinking more afterward though, I guess it was a bit of a rash decision i made while I was still on a high about the kissing ...do you think it's too soon to try and start something like that?” River took a big gulp of her fresh orange...swallowing hard and still trying to control her apparent feelings for the Man in her care. The inevitable whiplash of jealousy she felt stinging her heart as he spoke of this other woman that she secretly longed to be was utterly unbearable. She finally spoke up, her mask in place... “No...no i think it's a good move Matt... positive...and plus it would benefit you to try out your amazing kissing techniques on someone different wouldn't it!” she winked _`That bottle of Vodka from Christmas is getting attacked tonight...the chuffing lot of it...and the Tequila...screw the Lemon!!`_ “Yeah about that, um, do you think we could try it again at the end of the session...i’m kinda worried i’m gonna forget things again” _`really i just want to feel your luscious lips on mine once more! I've been dreaming of you_ _River Song and i don’t know what the hell you were doing when you entered my shower this morning, but I liked it...i liked it a lot!`_ River pursed her lips _`shots i need more shots...a screaming Orgasm sounds good!`.._.“yes that's fine Matt, that's what I'm here for right?” Matt nodded and River smiled as she took a deep breath and pushed her chair back to stand, “ Right well let's go over to the comfy chairs to discuss a few things shall we?...It's far too officey over this end!”

Matt nodded again and walked over to sit in the familiar chair that he had sat in last week while River slipped off her flats and folded her legs up as she sat, to what seemed her usual relaxed position on the chaise. Matt loved how River could make their Therapy sessions feel so easy and friendly, seemingly avoiding the natural tension that could so acutely be found in any other sort of Doctors office. The room was so homely and warm and her presence was naturally open and inviting...she had a rare ability to put him instantly at ease. Rive twirled a curl of hair around her finger while looking downwards in thought before her eyes took mindful focus on his...back to business as it were! “Matt, how are you with touch?” There was a moment of silence before he clenched and released his fists...River caught his immediate bracing, her eyes always following his body's natural response to her questions like a magpie’s focus on something shiny! Matt cleared his throat a bit, “Oh well....Do you mean a woman's touch on me? Or how I feel when I touch a woman?” River pursed her lips “Let's start with how you feel when you touch a woman, shall we...I take it you're fine with hand-holding and cuddling...is that ok?” Matt ran a hand through his hair...this was a regular habit River had noticed. “Yeah that's always been ok...i mean i like to do it...it doesn't make me nervous or anything...but i would never...i mean i could never..touch somewhere...um i don't …” She cut him off while he struggled to form his words...“What about breasts, any groping? Has your cuddling ever gone further or perhaps something easier like your hand running down a woman's thigh...anything like that?” Matt swallowed his fists now curled so tight River thought he might draw blood with his nails. “No, I don't...I mean...i wouldn't do that because that can lead to other things and that would just be leading someone on to make them believe I might offer more when I actually couldn't! So err...so no...i always just kept my hands away i guess, safer that way!” He looked away to stare at Rivers strange antique objects on the fireplace...in a moment of utter awkward embarrassment, feeling the shame of his apparent worthlessness seeping through to take control of his mind once again...he should be used to it by now he thinks! River couldn't stand to see this look on him the instant it appeared, it pained her to the bone to see him so lost and she wasted no time by immediately approaching him to take his clenched fist and pull him up out of the lonely pit of self-doubt he was wallowing in. ”Come sit on the chaise with me Matt, you need to remember you are not alone Sweetie!.” He did as instructed and sat on the end of the chaise, his eyes still not meeting hers as she sat down next to him with a sideways posture, slowly uncurling his fists gently in a soothing massage as she spoke. “Ya know touch is incredibly important Matthew...it helps us learn things about a person, it gives us sensations and an understanding of someone you couldn't gain from just a visual perspective. It's how we bond as humans...how we get to know our counterparts and makes your relationship to that person unique to you, how that person makes you feel and how you make them feel in return. It's the intimacy of learning the points of your partner's body that can make them come undone for you, understanding each other's weaknesses and desires and opening yourself up with a trust that you would rarely share with anyone else! Do you understand?” He looked up for the first time since he sat on the chaise, feeling Rivers fingers running through his now unclenched fists, warm and therapeutic in her technique. “Yeah i think i do...but it's still a scary thought for me River ...i don't know why!” She smiled and nodded “Of course it is Darling, anything new is scary, but in order to get past it you have to eventually face that fear sweetie ...would you like to give it a go with me?? I mean You don't have to, we can save it for another day if you like...the offer is there!” Matt shuffled and turned to her a bit more clearing his throat..”No, i think i can...i mean i should at least try shouldn't i...the kiss went ok didn't it? What would I be required to do?” River smiled and released his hands “You're not required to do anything Matt, this is not a test... nobody judging you ...but to make it easier for you and perhaps a bit more enticing” She winked “I’m gonna strip to my underwear...is that ok?” Matt's eyes immediately darted from side to side in a brief moment of panic..”What now...here...right now?” “Well only if it's ok with you of course...skin contact would be best, but i can leave clothes on if you prefer?” Matt couldn't look anymore, his breathing hitched the pressure of what she was saying becoming too much... he placed his head in his hands to cover his face in a lame attempt to hide from the situation briefly... “Sorry I just...i just need a minute...i know i can do this...i can...i just need a moment”

River felt terrible looking at him on the verge of a panic attack ...perhaps she had pushed too much too soon. He had done so well the last time and she thought he could cope with this...perhaps she was wrong to think he could. Her instincts were normally exemplary when it came to dealing with the next course of action for her patients ...but with Matt...well ...he confused her...she found herself a mixed ball of emotions in his presence, sometimes forgetting routine and protocol. ! His kissing last week had become confident and passionate, as he took control of himself and yes...the man clearly had skills to say the least. He had unintentionally ignited a fire within her that she had a hard time pushing away and still had not succeeded in that apparently failed attempt... which was furiously frustrating. He was here for help and she couldn't be that selfish, could she? She wouldn't let him down! She needed to refocus now and help ease him through this current state of turmoil she had regrettably caused!

She bent down in front of him, he was so beautiful and so lost, so vulnerable and yet usually so playful, she cared for him...more than she knew she should, more than he would ever know. His head lowered in turbulence as his hands still covered his face like a shield. His elbows rested on his knees, but he could sense her presence and he listened to her steady breaths as a focus that seemed to slow down his own breathing in tandem. River took a deep breath and spoke to him quietly...her voice so soft and sensitive. He listened intently.

“I haven't always been this person Matt, I was a lonely child, foster care was a stormy cage for someone like me! I was a teenager when I finally broke away it and I did things that were rather questionable to say the least. I was an uncontrollable hurricane, but I was determined to survive i guess! I wanted to become more than what everyone expected of me ...But even with that drive, It didn't take me long to figure out I could make money off men so easily”

Matt slid his hands slowly down his face to look at her intently, both in shock or awe of her blatant confession. She bit her lip a habit she was unaware of but one that made his heart flutter enough to shake the earth below his feet. She willed herself to continued through his intense gaze. “I said I wasn't one for hanging around on street corners to you didn't i?.. And in all honesty, I wasn't. I found this company that hired out struggling girls like me to certain rather wealthy individuals, upper-class guys with more money than brains usually...or hearts for that matter. She shook her head in remembrance as Matt watched her curls bounce in the light enticingly, she was still kneeling in front of him, but her voice and her story had him entranced and bewildered all at the same time. “Some men were difficult to say the least, utter arseholes that made me want to vomit on their precious silk sheets that their wives probably chose!” She spat at the shameful recollection in her mind. Matt gritted his teeth at the idea of River being taken advantage of and mistreated by such disgusting monsters...he secretly fumed! She quickly composed herself once again, her self control was admirable to say the least as she continued. “ Other men were grateful and appreciative to just let go of their weekly frustrations and relax for a while i guess...like a trip to a spa ...i was ok with that i suppose, easy money! On rare occasions, though i would find guys who were completely struggling in life….i mean really struggling with physical relationships or intimacy and who really actually needed me in their life as some sort of medicine or light in a dark place that would make them feel whole again ...Either because they lacked confidence in themselves, or were afraid of approaching other women due to self-doubt or embarrassment. I found myself with an overwhelming desire to help men like this! Women i suppose generally find it easier to talk about such things, but men ...well men all too often contain their emotions to maintain their ridiculous tough exteriors that society has insisted they must have in order to be accepted. That's when I finally found a path i wanted to take and i felt like perhaps i could make a difference and help people, who in all honesty there is very little help out there for. And it wasn't a normal path, to say the least, was it? Kind of embarrassing to say that i paid for university by working in the sex industry...and was studying psychology in order to become a sex therapist. But there you have it. I did what I wanted to do though, didn't i? ...I worked my socks off and achieved what I wanted to achieve even though all the odds were stacked against me and I did it alone. It's a scary world out there Matt...but never let it get the better of you Darling, never give up the fight to get what you dream of in life...you've got to keep moving forward in order to find your future!”

She stared at him adoringly, her emerald eyes like her words honest and true. He wanted her, he wanted her so badly, more than he had wanted anything in his life. Without a second thought, Matt pushed himself towards her crashing his lips on hers. Rivers initial shock was soon replaced by his soothing hands resting on her hips where she had taught him and where he was most comfortable. He directed her to stand as his mouth held fast to her like a magnet unable to let go. His kiss became deeper and like last time he tested his tongue carefully seeking permission, which she gave him willingly as his confidence bloomed. He was passionate and driven ...and in a moment of lust the electricity she had felt last time became uncontainable and her barrier accidentally fell when her hands left his chest unconsciously to run upwards seeking the back of his neck to run fingers through his hair. Matt groaned at her unexpected but shockingly welcome caress...it felt good, exhilarating and his heart pounded at her fingers running along the back of his head. A new sensation of shivers ran down his spine, his hands lost all sense of structured format and crept up her hips to grasp the hem of her top,.She gasped knowing what he intended to do and even willed him to do it...which after a brief moment of hesitation he broke away from her lips and pulled her top swiftly up and over her head as she raised her arms to accommodate his surprisingly bold action. They both stood breathlessly and River watched Matts gaze flicker between her probably flush face and her kinky red satin bra...His breathing was heavy as he moved closer...incredibly slowly like the world might shatter into a zillion pieces if he didn't tread carefully. He swallowed and looked into her eyes...deeper than anyone had ever looked before...it was quite unnerving actually, she felt practically naked before him. He was intense and arousing and utterly alluring...no she didn't stand a chance at all in escaping that gaze of his or trying to maintain the shield currently crumbling around her heart! He brought a hand up tentatively to touch her face, his heated palm caressing her cheek shaking slightly in trembles, he brought such unfamiliar tenderness though that she couldn't help but lean into it and close her eyes at the sensation! “Your so beautiful River Song,... beautiful and unique just like your name”

He took a deep breath “can I touch you River…...please?” She opened her eyes with a tender smile at his politeness…` always so sweet...my sweetie` she nodded. His hand from her cheek ran slowly down her neck, while his other hand held her close with a firm grasp on her hip...his fingers ran down the length of her arm slowly and carefully as if cataloging the temperature the softness every freckle of blemish it contained. His hand ran back up to her neck as he checked back to the safety of her anticipating eyes. He looked down to the curve of her breasts and his hand tried to follow bypassing her collarbone but halting upon the top edge of her bra...his breathing increased and she saw the moment of panic suddenly appear in his eyes again. He was going to stop...he was going to run from this, that look in his eyes was certain and she wouldn't let him! She made a hasty decision unthinking in the moment, that was selfish and rash. She pushed forward to claim his mouth once more, which he accepted as a comforting gesture. He knew this now it was familiar and safe...and while he was distracted with her lips she unclipped her bra and let it fall to the floor. Matt was so lost in the kiss he didn't notice when she took hold of his hand slowly bringing it from her hip up the side of her rib cage to suddenly cover her breast, his hand instinctively squeezed slightly at the unfamiliar curve and the bud at its center rolled under his fingers. He broke contact promptly his mouth ajar and breathless as he looked upon her now surprisingly very naked torso with perfectly full breasts and perk buds from the magical air conditioning unit…his eyes combusting widely as he gulped at the sight before him...”River...what did you? ...when did you...?” River looked down now...she bit her lip and shook her head in disgust...she had been selfish and driven by her own lust and desire, dismissing encouragement in favor of tricking him to fulfill her own needs. She paced to retrieve her top and put it back on immediately...she felt sick and embarrassed at her complete disregard for her patient “I’m so sorry Matt, I shouldn't have done that...it was a cheap shot to trick you like that and force something on you that you weren't ready for.” She walked over to the window behind her desk and squeezed the bridge of her nose near her temple to try and relieve the pressure that had accumulated there. Matt hadn't moved an inch from the spot where they had kissed, he just watched her intensely, but not with anger or feelings of betrayal...he felt concerned for her! She looked panicked and pale...even more so than he had felt mere moments ago! She sighed still looking out of the window “Matt what i did was unprofessional and wrong... I understand if you don't want to continue our sessions, I know a couple of other people who you could contact if you want someone different!” “NO” River turned to look at him, his eyes were piercing and his tone was certain as he walked towards her. “No... River, i need you...your the only one who can help me, it has to be you....you've done more for me in a couple of weeks than anyone has done in my whole life. You weren't wrong River...sometimes a person needs to be thrown in the deep end to learn how to swim. Please don’t pass me on to someone else” She sighed defeatedly but nodded as he pleaded with his hazel eyes. She gave a reluctant smile “Ok Sweetie”

Matt still wasn't satisfied he had eased that internal conflict she still held… _`looks like she could do with a hug arsehole!`_ “Err, Permission to hug?” She looked a bit uncertain, but she smiled to him and within seconds he had wrapped his arms around her firmly and securely, secretly wishing he could fit her in his pocket and take her home for a cuddle before bed too, well in bed actually. She held on to his waist tightly,her mind and heart still doing a number on her, while her head rested on his chest in their embrace. He whispered into her ear encouragingly being his playful self once again, “by the way...your breasts are utterly astonishing Miss Song...thank you so much for showing me them!” She broke into a fit of giggles and it was music to his ears, as she pulled away playfully slapping him “you're incorrigible Smith”. He gave her a cheesy grin “perhaps i should grope my own breasts to practice on for next week...Can I borrow your bra please... it's still on the floor by the way...don't think i haven't noticed you're still naked under there!” He pointed to her top! She looked down at the erect nipples poking through the thin fabric of her top and immediately crossed her arms and blushed although not without another giggle that filled his soul “I hate you, Smith!” He chuckled “no you don't!” They both settled down to have a nice chamomile tea and to chat briefly through some psychological issues he could work on before next week. Before long his time was up and River was walking him out of her office, “anyway, good luck with your date tomorrow Matt!” _`shit totally forgot about Clara…that's not a good start Matt you wanker_!` He rubbed his neck as He opened the door and halted “um River do you think I should tell her about...you...well...all of this?” `yes tell her to back the fuck off !` “Yes i would tell her Matt, I think the start of anything should always begin with being honest with each other!” He nodded then took another step, sighed while turning again “you don't think it would scare her off knowing that I practice physical things with my therapist?” _`God what am i his relationship counselor now...as if it isn't hard enough already preparing him for another woman.`_ “If she can't get past the idea that you need this therapy to get past certain things Matt, then she's not worth a single moment of your time...simple as that!” “Yeah, your right...thanks River, he leaned in to kiss her cheek like a husband would, leaving his wife on his way to work and walked down the hall, “Bye Donna, see ya next week!” “Oh Yeah, see ya lanky limbs”

River walked up to Donna's desk quietly solum as Matt left the building...slid a chair across the floor with a cringe-worthy screech opposite her and practically fell into it with an almighty "Huff ", leaning forward to bang her head on the desk rhythmically like she should belong in an asylum. Donna watched in amusement “i take it Lanky Limbs isn't just a pretty face then!” River left her head on the desk resigned while she spoke…”i can't do this...i... seriously Donna I'm going to hell for this! “ Donna got excited, edging closer... “Bloody hell this is serious, isn't it? Tell me everything, all the disgusting and downright dirty details!” River lifted her head off the desk pulling away the piece of paper that was now stuck to her cheek like some sort of drunkard! “You know I can't tell you what happens in there with my patients Donna.” She sighed “ I just...with Matt, he’s so bloody different to anyone I've ever treated...the way he looks at me is so bloody intoxicating...i mean don't get me wrong, he's the perfect gentleman and the sweetest most polite guy you could ever meet. He's so shy and vulnerable yet his conversation skills and flirtatious tendencies are off the charts!” Donna looked giddy now as her voice raised “THIS IS BRILLIANT!!” River knitted her eyebrows “The hell it is Donna!!” Donna beamed “yeah.. yeah it is River, your falling for your patient and I've been your mate what... over 5 years now and how many relationships have you had in that time?” River shook her head and rolled her eyes looking away. Donna nodded to herself “Exactly...because you may be a great sex therapist River but i don't need a Decorate Degree to see that you, my dear have commitment issues!” River slid the chair away to stand “I cant listen to this shit!” Donna reached over to grab her hand before she ran “River just tell him how you feel!” She threw her head back knowing that Donna wasn't one to let things go so easily “If only it were that easy...he's my patient, and i cant get involved with him like that...i made a mistake back there Donna and it was unprofessional...God he’s like a bloody drug to me...i got lost in the moment and when i gave him the option of someone else he said that it has to be me...that only I can help him!” She looked at the ground now closing her eyes to take in a few meditating breaths. “He has a date tomorrow with some girl and it's my job to help him through this...i...i need to try and refocus, to brush my own feeling about him away...he obviously feels nothing for me and he is beginning to explore things out there like he should be doing and it's my job to support him with it all isn't it?...I can do this, he needs me to do this Donna and I can't let him down.” River paced away defeatedly to hide in the safety of her office as Donna watched on no longer amused by Rivers confliction, it was quite heartbreaking to see her friend and boss so strained and emotionally troubled over this man!


	4. Session 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clara Date night and River hanging to sanity by a thread..... Massages and confusing feelings basically! LOL

The day of Matt's big first date had finally arrived. He was going out for an Italian with a pretty attractive school teacher, that was incredibly smart and rather funny from what he could remember from when they had met down the pub a while back. Only one problem kept throwing a spanner into the works of his brewing mind...she was not River Song! He had gotten to the restaurant early trying to make a good first impression and all that, wouldn't bode well to be late on a first date he assumed. He was dressed to impress and smelled like Rory after Amy had attacked him with some stinky stuff, he sniffed himself with a grimace. His mind though betrayed him as his thoughts kept drifting to the one woman he dared entertain, the one woman he presumed he could not have….it was River. Would she like Italian? Would she like Red wine, chocolates, and roses? Would she hold his hand while he walked her home and let him kiss her goodnight while he ran fingers through her amazing head of hair...yes those tantalizing curls that he hadn't dared touch yet!

_`Touch, oh...touch yes... Breasts...Rivers Breasts...oh how could you forget the look of those amazing breasts Matt, she let you touch them didn't she? And you embarrassed yourself yet again didn't you? You might as well have gone all out and cum in your pants like an immature teenager...Loser! What a freak...Fleeing from an utterly beautiful and perfect woman, offering herself to you willingly...A woman who has breathed air back into your lungs again since the very first day you met her! She would never see you as anything but pathetic though Matt! Oh no...your week and broken and she deserves a real man who can treat her like a bloody Queen and worship every inch of her body like the indescribable gift that she is...y…..` _

“Hi” Matt was broken out of his hourly River trance and looked up to see Clara obliviously smiling down at him. He stood quickly scrambling to remember where he was and who he was supposed to be meeting. “Oh sorry, i never saw you come in Clara, nice to see you again.” He held out his hand awkwardly and she shook it with a giggle. “You were in a world of your own just then, i was gonna give you another few minutes but i think i might have had a few funny looks just standing there on my own!” He chuckled uneasily thanking god that she wasn't a telepath and couldn't hear his thoughts while walking around to pull out her chair, “what can I get you to drink Clara?” She sat down smiling “thanks...err i’ll have a white wine please...any will do, not fussy!” They chatted together and ordered their drinks and food and everything seemed to be going well, she was nice Matt thought, normal, witty, responsible ...BORING …

_`No scratch that last part you Twat`...she’s lovely and smart and `i wonder if she kisses like River? Will she send shivers down my spine too?` _

He was trying to think of a way to tell her about his Therapy...about River ...She had told him to be honest and upfront about things from the beginning, so he guessed that's what he should do! “Um Clara, i think there is something you should know about me and I'm not quite sure how you're going to take it to be honest...but i really think you have the right to know!” She clasped her fingers together the proper school Teacher way and leaned slightly inward registering its importance. “Oh...well, I'm sure it can't be that bad Matt don't look so nervous, I'm not gonna put you in detention or anything!” He fake laughed and scratched his face one of his many nervous ticks, “Yeah ha ..see the thing is, I'm currently seeing a Sex therapist.” Clara’s eyes widened as she was taken back a bit “Oh” Matt felt the need to readjust his statement…”Not seeing... seeing...that came out wrong...i mean i have a therapist who helps me because i have issues with physical intimacy and stuff!” His face went redder as he told her...this was the first time he had ever told anybody other than Amy and Rory and his doctors of course and he was afraid of what her reaction would be! Would she laugh? Take the piss or brush him off like a strange bit of fluff on her jacket? Clara regarded him for a few seconds and smiled warmly, “Well that's ok Matt, thank you for telling me, it's quite refreshing that you're so honest about something so personal to you!” Matt felt his shoulders instantly sag in relief. He didn't have to say he was actually physically intimate in his treatment though did he?_ .._

_` No...no Matt...River just said to be honest...but she didn't say to be too honest, did she?... Clara doesn't need to know what sort of things my treatment involves!`_

Matt and Clara shared a cab that went to drop Clara off at her apartment first, they were nearly there when Clara spoke, “I had a good time tonight Matt, thank you.” He turned and Smiled “Yeah me too was nice wasn't it...would you err fancy going out again some time...next week perhaps?...I would really like to see you again?”...

_`I need to see you again because i really need to get rid of these feelings I have for my therapist and I don't know if their real or not because she’s the only person I've ever had any sort of physical contact with...anyway... please... I just need to snog you and see if you feel the same as River!` _

She beamed “Yeah that would be lovely, call me and we’ll sort something out yeah?” Matt nodded as they pulled up to Claras “This is me” Matt told the driver to wait till he had seen her to the door safely. He got out of his side and walked around to open the cab door for her, “She giggled your such the gentleman Matt, your mother should be proud!” He laughed “Yeah well some days she is... but not on the days I deliver my washing!” “God your so funny ...anyway thank you again and good luck with your next therapy session, too, call me yeah?” Matt leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her cheek, she blushed,“will do Thanks, Clara, have a good err, rest of the night!” They both smiled and waved as Matt got back in the taxi. Session 4 Matt was sat in the waiting room his frame hunched with his arms on his knees in a deep brooding thought. Donna was attempting a crossword while studying Matt because she was really good at multitasking like that! “Sexually Arousing?”...he didn't hear her so she tried again a bit louder this time, “OY” he looked up and she tried again “Sexually Arousing?” Matt sat up straight as a dime, “what?... what?...I'm...I'm not aroused Donna” She rolled her eyes and looked at his groin making him blush and cover his privates with his hand like there was something she could see that he didn't! “Obviously not Smith ...but I'm talking about the crossword you numpty” Tapping the page with her pen...any suggestions?” She said it again torturously slow this time for his benefit...or perhaps just to make him squirm more for fun…. “Sex..ua..lly Ar..ou..si.ng” Matt scratched his face…” um how many letters ?” She looked down to the Magazine then back to him again, “nine ...something R” Matt thought for a moment humming to himself then smiled once it clicked, speaking smugly “EROGENOUS!” Donna's mouth flew open like a codfish, then she beamed as she filled in the missing word. “Not just a pretty face are you Sunshine...a smart one too, no wonder she’s all thrown off balance and hysterical!! Matts ears pricked up “ She's What?” Donna just realized what she’d said and looked down pretending not to hear him...just then a quiet beep saved her from replying, “Miss Song will see you now!” Matt stood up and looked at Donna carefully, she eyed him and raised her eyebrows in defiance “off ya pop”. Matt sighed and turned.

River was sat at her desk reading when Matt walked in, she smiled and took off her glasses as he sat. “Hi, Matt how have you been?” He smiled in return, “Oh fine thanks River, how are you?” She beamed, “very well thanks for asking!” He bit his nails a bit nervously before continuing with his news of the week, “my err, my date went well with Clara”. River pursed her lips and nodded before remembering to speak, “oh that great, fantastic news Matt..anything exciting happen on the date?” He blushed a little, and chuckled, “not really exciting in the way you mean i guess. We had dinner and chatted, it was nice and I kissed her cheek at the end of the night...were going out again on Thursday!” River looked down a bit before plastering on the fakest smile she could muster, she was mixed with feeling hurt that she wasn't the one he was dating, but also feeling proud that he was daring to get on with things and push himself out there! …”I'm so proud of you Sweetie...did you tell her about the Therapy?” Matt nodded “yeah i did and she seemed fine with it...was actually quite happy that i told her!” River smiled, “Great stuff, i told you Matt...honesty is key!! Ahh, Anyway...best not dilly dally now you have a pretty girl on your arm ay!” She tried to make light of the situation and failed miserably. Matt could sense something was off with her mood, she seemed a bit tense for some reason, he questioned her feeling a bit concerned, “River are you feeling alright?” She laughed “course i am Sweetie, bit tired that's all,” She took a deep breath, “let's get on with it shall we!” She stood feeling determined to do business...walking round to perch on the edge of the desk crossing her arms with a new stricter and slightly defensive self against Matt’s mystical charms. “I really think we should approach something similar to last week Matt, physical touch is important on all areas of the body and we both know you need some more work on handling a woman's body...but what i want to know is how are you at being touched by a woman yourself?” Matt ran a hand through his hair then shuffled in his seat a bit, “I err, well i guess i errr...don't really know” He scratched his face a bit “.Oh, my friend Amy gave me a back massage once...i was ok with that, I suppose. Although I think it hurt more than actually relax me, especially when she stood on me back with both feet attempting Ashiatsu or something like that, I couldn't walk for a week after her brutality... talk about being manhandled!” River laughed for the first time since he walked in finally and Matt felt somewhat happier to see her familiar face light up again, however brief it was. He still had a bit of underlying concern from when he entered though, especially after what he thought Donna had said! “Well back massages are good and it's a great way to touch and release tension at the same time... I trained as a Sweedish Masseuse for a year before attempting one on any of my patients though. But it really does come in handy to help with physical intimacy...even a small foot massage on your new girl Clara is so simple yet intimate...perhaps she could do your back some time too ...tell her it's Doctors orders!!” She winked and looked down to gather her strength again. This was becoming torturous but Matt was her priority at the end of the day...she held his life in her hands. Alex sighed and put on a happy face once again. Would you care to have a full Swedish body massage Matt?” His eyebrows raised and his mouth was ajar “oh erm well...Did not expect you to say that today, would I have to...err ” He held up a finger and wearing a puzzled look on his face “ can I just ask by what you mean `FULL` body?” he chuckled. River giggled “Don't worry Matthew I'm not going to touch your banana and peanuts if that's what your thinking Darling. It's just the rest of your body and you don’t have to do it though if it's going to be too uncomfortable for you remember...it's entirely your choice Sweetie!” He shrugged his shoulders at that and lifted his chin trying to act casual and manly about the whole thing, even though the idea of Rivers hands running riot on his body had his heart beating quadruple time. ”No it would be nice right? to relax a bit...always good to try something new too and you couldn’t be any worse than Amy. You may find i request one every week though afterwards so you might live to regret this decision River!” She rolled her eyes, smirking and stood, “hmm is that so, I may have to check my diary for some overtime then Mr Smith!” He chuckled “i love overtime with you Song” She brushed a curl behind her ear while simultaneously trying to calm her beating heart, “Right come on then, let's get you sorted...she walked him over to the long curtains on the far wall that Matt had always suspected hid a secret room. He was right. She pulled the curtain swiftly and it opened up to a wonderful warm and calming environment with a massage table and a cabinet at the side filled with an assortment of luscious oils and candles, along with a couple of pretty bonsai trees.

The room smelled interesting and River went straight over to light an incense burner, humming to herself as she did so and closed her eyes briefly as she breathed in its soothing qualities. Matt gave it a sniff “what's that supposed to do then knock me out?” She turned to Matt, with eyes scowled playfully...“yes...it’s so I can have my wicked way with you Matt...breath in the scent of seduction, before i possess you with my dark magic and claim you under the full blood moon before all others” She did a fake cackle like a witch. Matt laughed shaking his head as he took off his jacket to hang on the rack by the side of the door. “ You really don't need incense to do all of that River...your incredibly beautiful and intelligent and if I was any normal bloke without women problems...well let's just say i would have probably been the one trying to seduce you!!” River froze and her eyes widened at his blatant confession…she quickly looked away to appear busy and grab a towel as her heart fluttered. Matt didn't seem to realize what he had just said, he turned back around from hanging his coat and taking off his shoes in preparation for the deadly mission set before him! “ Right i’ll give you some privacy while you strip off Matt and climb on the table for me face down first. You can leave your underwear on if you feel more comfortable doing that obviously, but there is a towel there to cover yourself anyway. And don't worry I won't peek under there!” Matt scoffed...but she studied him for a moment to make sure he wasn't too anxious in the situation she had placed him in. He seemed to be doing ok so she felt comfortable continuing the session and left the room while he readied himself. “Just call when your ready Darling” He nodded, “Okay” Matt took a deep breath before he started to undress.

_`Jesus fucking christ why am i taking my clothes off...why the hell did i agree to this? She's gonna see my nipples, River is gonna see my girly nipples and 6 pack of ribs...oh shit i should have gone to the gym,...Why didn't I go to the gym? Fuck i’m pasty under this shit...why didn't i let Amy fake tan me...because Rory looked like an African tribesman when she did him you moron….Still, look how white i am, she's gonna need sunglasses for this.` Matt decided to leave his boxers on obviously as he climbed over the bed face down as instructed, he covered his bum with the small towel to offer extra cover over his butt cheeks. `shit...oh god, Rivers gonna put her hands on me...i don't think i can do this”... _

“READY RIVER”...

_`you utter wanker!`_

River had banged her head silently on the wall outside a few times muttering a few curse words to herself, before entering to do battle on the sexy body of The Man-God before her. Matt was there waiting nervously on the table, he hadn't put his face down in the hole just yet his eyes were focussed on River and the oil she was gathering while he rested his head on his arm. “ Not vegetable oil then?” River smiled at him as she came closer with a small bottle of magic “no...i’m not cooking you today Sweetie” She opened the bottle and held it against his nose so he could sniff it “Melrose sweet Almond oil, what do you think?” Matt sniffed it and pulled a face like a child that had been offered a sprout…”Smells weird...are you sure i won't be highly flammable after this!” River Giggled and couldn't help but flirt at his practically naked and vulnerable self lying there patiently waiting for her. “That's rather unlikely Matt... but don't worry...you'll still be incredibly hot...now please just put your face in the hole!” “River do you know how bad that just sounded?? Put my face in the hole...christ your a bad bad girl” He put his face in the hole of the bed still jabbering away to himself while River was rubbing oil into her hands, taking a few calming deep breaths to begin her assault. . ”Who puts a hole in a bed anyway?... Why isn't there a hole for mi fruit and veg by the way?... A bit unfair that isn't it Riv...quite comfy though isn't it? How much do these things cost anyway? Bet I could make you a…” The exact moment he felt Rivers hands touch the skin on the top of his shoulders his mouth shut and he silenced instantly...The atmosphere in the room suddenly shifted from chatty cafe to seductive sex on the beach. Her hands ran and rolled and kneaded his back like she was a woman gifted in the arts of making pizza dough...when she got to the long even strokes he could feel the tension already slipping away through the fibers of his body. It felt good, no...she felt good, she was incredible at this...she ran her hands firmly up his neck and at that he couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips, she froze briefly at the sound but continued her pace down his arms. River focused hard on her technique...it was rather difficult to say the least having to do this to the guy that visited her dreams on a rather frequent basis. Having Matt lying underneath her hands like this was pretty intense, the warmth of his skin was soothing. He was soft and slender but athletic in appearance...she wondered if he did a lot of running ...her mind kept changing channels as she tried to maintain some level of control, but all too soon she envisioned herself leaning over to place delicate kisses on his neck and whisper dirty secrets of her desires into his ear. He groaned and she froze at the noise which escaped him then shook her curls and continued. She worked on his legs and was rather amused to find he was rather ticklish on his feet...she couldn't help but giggle and tease him, lingering there a bit longer than necessary! He chuckled and squirmed as she worked on his toes teasingly, “that's mean River, you'll regret it woman!” She laughed “what are ya gonna do...spank me!” As she said it she slapped his arse and he yelped in surprise, “That sides done, roll over!”

He rolled making sure to keep the towel over him even though he wore boxers...she smiled at him reassuringly as he turned to settle on his back. She placed a small pillow under his head for comfort and bit her lip as she lifted his head carefully to place it underneath. He quietly murmured “Thanks”. He didn't miss one second of the vulnerable look she bestowed momentarily in that action, watching carefully as she moved once again to put more oil on her hands...she wouldn't meet his eyes though for some reason. “Bit weird this front way...i feel like i want to cover my nipples!” River smirked “to cover such manly nipples would be a crime Matthew” He shook his head grinning, as she giggled. He shuffled a bit and straightened the towel better over his manhood still feeling a bit exposed…River started on the tops of his shoulders, moving down around his neck and then down his arms one side and then the other. She was close...too close, she smelled fresh like the ocean but with the hint of something floral lingering behind, her curls tickled his shoulder as she leaned over him and he could practically feel the warmth of her breath ghosting over his body, making him shudder slightly with chills. “Your a bit goose-pimply, are you cold Matt, i can turn up the heat if you want?”

_`Turn up the heat….fucking hell.. no more heat!` _

He shook his head and swallowed “Um... no I'm fine thanks...it feels nice...i wasn't sure i would like it this way?” She hummed in acknowledgment as she worked trying not to stare too much into his all too alluring dark hazel eyes… ”Yeah your a bit more exposed this way aren't you, it can be a bit daunting at first but your doing good Matt, just try not to think for a while and just accept and feel it...try and close your eyes a bit, your feel tenser this way...just relax Sweetie!” Matt took one last look at her memorizing every detail upon her face before he closed his eyes...it didn't matter...either way, he could still see her face! He felt her hands running down his arms and across his shoulders and neck... the thing he strangely seemed to love the most was when she worked on his hands, because `wow` he loved the feel of her hands in his. She felt so right, so good... her fingers gently caressing each one of his digits like a precious jewel that intrigued her and needed a thorough inspection before being released again, she would give equal attention and work on it with great precision and care! Her hands ran back up his arms around his shoulders and down his torso to slide over his chest. How many hands did she have anyway? She appeared everywhere, wrapping his body and his senses with sedated euphoria... he felt himself twitch below!…

_`No...shit no...please don't do this to me` _

Her hands worked rhythmically around his torso down the sides of his ribs with long strokes. He knew he was beginning to harden...he tried to think of something disgusting,

_`The clown... IT...shit that's not disgusting that's...i don't like that...err...oh fuck she ‘s getting lower. Bloody hell she feels so good...keep your eyes shut Matt...where was i... oh yes something horrible, err PEARS yes pears yuck...christ I'm getting a stiffy on a massage table in front of River Song...this is not happening, pears, Pears, FUCKING PEARS!!!`. _

Rivers hands moved lower still on his stomach just below his belly button and it all became too much for him. She was unnervingly close to his bits down there, as her hand grazed the edge of the towel.. He broke frantically…..“STOP...RIVER stop...Please!”.... He sat up abruptly shuffling back slightly clutching his towel over his parts like a comfort blanket. She looked shocked at his sudden outburst but instantly placed a calm reassurance over her face, “It’s ok Matt i wasn't going under the towel you know...i told you i wouldn't do anything like that!” He nodded and begin to flush in utter embarrassment while trying to discreetly cover his half-hard erection. “Yeah I know...i know that River, ...I'm sorry, its my fault...it was just...i’m just not used to someone else's hands down there...i couldn't help...i wasn't sure…” She smiled and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder “You're worried about how your penis reacted aren't you!”

_`yeah there she goes...pure River, just saying it how it is!` _

Matt opened his mouth to say something then shut it again...before trying once more to verbalize his thoughts, “so your not only therapist and a masseuse, but your also a psychic too aren't you? Shit...i’m sorry. Yes my penis was behaving very badly and yes i feel utterly ashamed and embarrassed about it...we will be having words when I get home I can assure you!” River instantly leaned over and hugged him with a giggle. Matt was surprised at the sudden gesture but loved it all the same. He wrapped an arm around her in response, pulling her into a tighter embrace whilst he was still leaned with his other arm on the table. He loved this about River, she never once felt like a therapist! A therapist would never sooth you with a hug...or joke playfully about your condition. They were cold and by the book...like cybermen trying to manipulate your brain while forcing you into a metal mold like the rest of the army. River was warm and caring, incredibly free-spirited, so slightly unpredictable and naughty at times. But that was what he loved about her, she was his friend and someone he could be himself with. She was helping him overcome hurdles and doing it in such a way that made it actually quite fun and not as depressingly awkward and difficult as it used to be. She was everything he needed and more. The only problem with all that was the fact that he was becoming rather attached and smitten with her...even when he left the confines of her office she was on his mind. What would River think?... What would River do?... What does she sleep in?... Would she like pancakes for breakfast, with Nutella, squirty cream and marshmallows? Clearly this part of his therapy was only getting worse… “Matt, I have already told you that you don't need to apologize for anything in these sessions...your body is bound to have that sort of response...especially one as sensitive and unfamiliar to touch as yours is! I was expecting it honestly Sweetie, so I'm not shocked or anything, so please stop your stressing” She leaned back to look at him, “It's a compliment actually, means I still have the magic touch,... I'm good aren't I?” She smirked. Matt beamed “River song... you are Am-az-ing!”

********************************************************************************************************

As soon as Matt had left his session with River he knew he needed to head straight for Amy and Rory's. There was no way he couldn't go home and stew yet again with thoughts of his beautiful River circling his mind when he already had another date booked with the lovely Clara Oswald on Thursday. They all gathered in the living room and Amy handed him a fresh cup of Tea, Matt sniffed it “pfff, any chamomile?” Amy gave him a puzzled look “Any what?” Matt directed his gaze to the cup “Chamomile Amy...it's nice and relaxing and the smell invades your senses like a calming balm...this ill do though i suppose for now, but can you get me some for next time please its my favorite!” He sighed like he was being forced to drink Mayonnaise !” Amy turned to Rory who just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, She sat down with her own cuppa, “Right spill Smith...what's up...something’s up cos you're acting very strange “ He nodded solemnly, still looking at his rubbish tea, “YeP” Rory shifted “So are you gonna tell us then, or do we have to guess?”

Matt sighed again, “I think I'm falling for my Therapist...or maybe I've fallen already i dunno” He took a long deep breath to continue, “I think about her all the time and when I'm with her it's like... I can be myself ya know. She makes me feel so alive...breathes air into my lungs and makes my heart beat outta my chest so much i think I'm gonna blow up! But the thing is, I don't know if it's real do i?... Is it because we have to be physical together and i know no different? And I don't even know if she feels the same way about me anyway...probably not...because let's face it... what she does with me she will do with other guys too won't she? That's her job...I'm her job, aren't i? And then there's Clara... lovely and sweet Clara who should be perfect for me really...a safer option for me too, i guess. We get along great and she's quite clever too in conversation. She doesn't excite me though like River does...perhaps she might though...I'm not sure if i would feel the same about her if we became physical, ya know... like i do about River! The only way to find out if my feelings were real or not would be to do the things with her that I do with River... but then that makes me feel like I would be cheating, or betraying the other in a way. It already feels wrong that i have a date booked with Clara on Thursday while I'm thinking about what Rivers doing for dinner...it's not right is it!!! I’m feeling mentally disturbed right now Ponds! So my first question to you is,...do you think I'm having these strong feelings for River because she is my first, with every physical intimate thing i do?”

There was silence as Amy chewed her cheek and Rory shifted again in his seat, then cleared his throat a bit...After an uncomfortable and prolonged moment, Matt suddenly banged his cup down, standing and started to pace with frustration. “Oh come on guys, give me something please...anything!! This is messed up right?..Do I risk dumping a perfectly lovely school teacher before finding out if we actually fit first, or do I risk telling my therapist that i think I'm in love with her only to have her throw me out on a wounded limb for someone else to deal with, because she doesn't feel anything at all for me?? ...Well...what the hell am I supposed to do?” Amy decided she would be the one to assume responsibility “I would be honest with both Matt...honesty is always key!” Matt sat back down having finally gotten something from one of them “ok...ok that's good, River once told me that once too...although i only told Clara a part truth about how River treats me...medically speaking!” Rory scoffed “yeah mate bit insane telling your new date you just shagged your Therapist before dinner!” Amy shouted “OY STUPID FACE... NOT HELPFUL!...besides he hasn't shagged her yet...you haven't shagged have you matt? Because i told you to call me as soon as it happens didn't i?” Matt shook his head exasperated “No...and don't be expecting a call anytime soon either, i couldn't even complete a massage today without freaking out like an utter moron!” Amy’s eyebrows raised “A massage Oooooo naughty….i want details!” Rory tried speaking with authority “not now Amy...focus on the problem at hand!” She giggled “was the problem in her hand or yours Matt!”

“AMY!!” both Matt and Rory shouted simultaneously


	5. Home Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings finally shared and Matt surprises himself and River in the kitchen lol

Matt’s second date with Clara couldn't come soon enough! He was dreading it lets be honest, but he just wanted to set things straight, well as straight as they could be. They sat down with their drinks at a quiet bar set somewhere in town, and he started their conversation off with something simple to start with.

“So, how're things going at school Clara?” Smiling, she answered “fine Matt, a couple of problem makers of course, but nothing I can't handle... honestly, they think we must never have been that age with some of the tricks they try to pull!” Matt couldn't help but shudder at the thought...he had hated school, he loved the learning, of course, soaked it in like a remedy to all his insecurities and used it as a distraction to get through the days! But he hated the torment that school brought, the group of girls that always belittled him and made him feel like he would never be worthy, not like the cooler sporty types that most of them liked to cling to and argue over. Matt sighed “yeah i can imagine...don't know how you do it, you must have the patience of a saint!” She took a small sip of her vodka Coke,“yes i think i must have, it's quite challenging and I like that I guess. What about you, any new inventions coming out soon i should know about?” “Ahhh now that would be telling wouldn't it...I'm working on something though, just not got it quite right yet, its sonic technology that's all I can say!” She leaned in “Top secret then yeah?” Matt chuckled “yes, very Area 51” He took a swig of his beer

_`yuk`... yes, the night called for such a manly beverage! _

Clara took a moment to observe Matt downing his beer, looking like he was a bit uncomfortable with something, she took this moment to question him more on his Therapy “ So how's your Therapy going Matt? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I want you to know you can tell me if you like...i won't freak out or anything!”

_`Now's your chance Matt, she approached the subject for you... now just tell her everything about River!` _

Matt placed his empty glass on the table… _`god that was disgusting`_

“Yeah actually Clara i need to talk to you about that, there's something I didn't tell you about my Therapy.” Clara looked a bit more serious in her features “Oh…?” Matt rubbed his neck with a hand, wondering how to word the things he needed to say, “Yeah see the thing is Clara, My Therapist is different...she’s the physical type...helps me with the... well the physical stuff”! Clara looked puzzled for a moment, then her eyes promptly inflated like a balloon “Oh...Ohh erm right, you mean she does things with you?... Is that err legal, you know professionally speaking?” Matt nodded “Yes, it's a new type of treatment available for people who have been through the normal processes and failed miserably like me.” Clara took another slow sip of her drink “So you and she, you ...do you have sex?” Matt was starting to sweat, the heat building in his body like he was sitting on top of a furnace... ”Well um, we don't have sex no, we haven't not yet...but what I'm saying is that we could, that's what she's trying to help me with!” Clara nearly dropped her drink on the floor, she caught it spilling some on her hands, “ Your a Virgin!!!” Matt instantly sank into his chair with mortification as a few heads turned around to look in his direction at the rather abrupt loud words which had escaped Clara's mouth.

_`God he felt like a kid at school all over again ...everyone pointing and laughing at the scrawny pathetic geek, as they tied his shoelaces together and pulled down his pants, for him to fall over in front of the one pretty girl that always caught his eyes.` _

Matt took hold of his Jacket “let's get out of here and walk a bit yeah?”

_`i needed air and i need it fast,...can't breathe…. what the hell was i thinking...breath Matt ..calm down...slow deep breaths...i need River, Fuck she's not here! `_

Clara grabbed her coat...as Matt raced out ahead of her and as soon as the cold night air hit his face he breathed it into his lungs like a starved man deprived of food! He leaned over bracing his hands on his knees like he was on the verge of collapse. Clara came out behind him “Matt you ok?” He took a couple of slow deep breaths before standing again to regain his composure “Yeah, I'm ok, sorry Clara, i just got into a bit of a panic back there...it's best if I walk it off is that ok …?” “Sure...no problem, it's fine” They walked in silence a for a short while until Matt had calmed down enough to speak again “Yes by the way...the answer to your question...i haven't had sex...or any sort of physical relationship with anyone before Clara and I'm so sorry if you feel betrayed or tricked or anything like that...its just difficult to say ya know!” Clara kindly linked her arm with his “Well its a surprise Matt, i mean a shock really...your a handsome guy, a genius inventor, with far too much money than you know what to do with and I can't say I haven't noticed all the other girls swooning after you because of it. It must be so difficult to be in your shoes and i want to understand...i do. This treatment you do, can i...can I help you with it...do you get homework?

_`Oh Holy bloody moly, she's offering herself up for me to practice on too...now I definitely feel like I'm a two-timing bastard!... This can't be good, can it? I need to tell her about River, she has to know about my feelings for her...honesty is key Matt!!` _

Matt's fingers ran through his hair as he continued to walk with Clara, he figured he just needed to say it...lay it out on the table as it were. “I have feelings for my Therapist Clara… and I'm not sure if they are real or not! We have kissed and i feel things that I'm not sure should be there and I don't know if I would feel the same with anyone else! I don't know that if I kissed you i would feel the same things i feel with River ...and I feel terrible about it because i don't know what's real and i don't know what to do about it …. i like you and i don't want to hurt you Clara by leading you along a path I'm still trying to figure out!” She pulled his arm to make him stop walking and he turned as she stared up at him “Ok...so kiss me then...Kiss the hell out of me Matt. you need to find out and i wanna snog after such a fucking weird night...so let's just do it and see if sparks fly yeah?” Matt took a step back “err i dunno Clara, it doesn't seem right, I would feel like I'm using you to experiment on or something!” She sighed shaking her head and taking a step back into him again, “You know your problem Matt, you think too much” She grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to press her lips against his, after Matt's first initial shock and flustering limbs, he remembered his training and placed his hands on the comfort of her hips to ground himself. Only then was he able to kiss her back in return. She felt nice, as her mouth moved against his, sweet even....she felt lower than River though her body didn't seem to fit quite as well against him as she had. Her tongue invaded his mouth like it already had the right of passage there and there was no testing or teasing before bonding...there were no shivers down his spine or fire surging through his veins! She was not River and.nobody could ever replace River, he knew then...even after just this one simple kiss that nobody could make him feel the way River did. How could he be so stupid, he had always known it deep down...he shouldn't have needed a kiss to tell him that she meant the world to him. He was in love with her...Totally and utterly in deep, deep Love with River Song!....

_`shit`! _

Matt pulled away slowly looking at Clara in such a way that she already knew. She sighed and nodded “I understand Matt, i do and you should tell her...you need to tell her how you feel!” Matt looked away for a moment thinking before turning back to look at Clara “I don’t think I can risk losing her Clara...she may not feel anything for me!.... I’m so sorry Clara I never meant for this to happen!” She placed a hand on his cheek “Hey it's fine, it's only a second date Matt, it's not like we got married or anything!” He scoffed, “can we still.. ya know...talk, be friends?” She smiled, “of course, besides i have to know how the story ends now don't i...but you can't let it go on like this Matt...just tell her, you have to!” Matt closed his eyes briefly “I’ll try Clara, I'm just terrified of what her answer will be!”

* * *

The days after his date with Clara were torturous, to say the least, he barely slept and hardly ate... even working on his Sonic Screwdriver was proving no distraction from what he wanted to say to River and how he was going to say it. In Fact, it was damn right dangerous working on the small Sonic device while his brain was in sheer turmoil. He had miscalculated a programming and accidentally blew up the Tv in the process of testing it out. He survived though, he loved it when he did that!! Got a bit cut up in the process mind after a bit of the tv flew into his cheek...but he barely felt it to be honest, his insides were in far too much pain to notice anything so superficial on the exterior of his body! Finally after some consideration of whether or not he should just cancel altogether and move to a different planet just to be on the safe side. His body had begrudgingly walked itself into the building that contained the woman of his dreams, that was probably going to throw him out after this session when he confronts her!

Donna was chatting on the phone but gave him a wave and a nod as he sat. Matt leaned back against the chair and looked down the hall, his gaze lingering on the familiar blue door nervously! Donna eyed him carefully while she chatted and eventually put the phone down. “You're looking a bit ...odd today Pretty Boy and what on earth have you done to your face? ” Matt put a hand to his cheek, he’d forgotten about the cut from his mishap with the sonic and the TV. “Oh just an accident and i always look odd Donna. I am odd aren't i or I wouldn't be here would i?” Donnas eyebrows raised “Oy don’t use that tone with me sunshine, what’s gotten into you?” Matt ran a hand over his face consciously feeling bad for taking out his frustrations on Donna “I’m sorry Donna, I've just had a rough week, i didn't mean to snap!” He took a deep breath after looking back to the blue door again, then he realized he couldn't do this! He couldn't face River, either to pretend he felt nothing in order to carry on with her treatment, or simply tell her the truth and risk the rejection from the only person he had ever truly loved and trusted. He couldn't do either….he was a coward and he wanted to run, he needed to run away from it all and as soon as that thought entered his mind he couldn't escape it! He had to flee from the situation and get out of there immediately. He stood up running shaking fingers through his hair “i have to go!” Donna looked shocked at Matts sudden U-turn “What!!! What are you on about, your speaking rubbish?” “I’m going...tell River I’m sorry...i just...err.. tell her thank you for everything, but I'm canceling...i wanna cancel...so yeah... thanks Donna” Matt was out of there like a shot leaving Donna with mouth gaping and his abrupt and unexpected departure.

When River finally beeped for her next patient after a brief moment Donna walked in. River looked across from her desk puzzled with eyebrows knitted, “You're not Matt!” Donna approached the desk “No I'm not, he was here though your pretty boy...he left about five minutes ago in a rush, requesting a cancellation and told me to thank you for everything!” River stood immediately “WHAT!!” “Yeah, he looked tired and pale...hair all over the place...had a cut under his eye….i don't know what's wrong... but something is...I'm a bit worried about him!” River paced past Donna to grab her phone off the side, she had already put in Matts number from his file in case he ever wanted to call her directly for an emergency or chat. She phoned his number pacing the office in front of Donna who had plonked herself in Rivers chair. She pinched the brow of her nose after the first few rings beginning to stress more and more when he didn't answer...after a while River growled and threw her phone against the chaise in frustration. “Not answering...i need his address Donna!” Donna's eyes enlarged “River No...you can't do that ...you know that you can't do that right ...patient/Doctor confidentiality and rules ring any bells?” She shook her curls like it was nothing “Get me his address Donna, if Matt’s in trouble he's my responsibility and I won't let any rules dictate to me what's right and wrong where my patient is concerned!!” Donna stood knowingly, “I think you mean where `Matt` is concerned River...you know you could lose your job over this right!” River calmed herself and sighed deeply “Please Donna, just get me his address, I can't let him go...i told him to trust me, that I was going to help him, I can't fail him...please!” Donna huffed “Fine...but only because i think you two are good for each other!” Rivers face went red and she flustered to speak as Donna smirked and walked away!

* * *

Matt’s home was was rather big and Modern in design. It looked rather basic from the outside almost box-like, but inside was surprisingly intriguing, it was definitely the home of a man who liked to tinker. There were gadgets and gizmos dotted around all over the place,In every corner, there was something that drew the eyes with questions and curiosity. It was tidy thow and uncluttered with a light atmosphere, but a child would have one hell of a time playing with his many grabbing machines and computer stations along with a Robotic pet Dog that patrolled the halls! His living room was different than most of the house though, it was warm and wooden in appearance, and held a full wall of old books like it had materialized in a library. The fireplace was a focal point of old carved stonework and rustic wood beams and above it hung a peculiar piece of art of circles and shapes. A few comfy sofas surrounded the fireplace, a favorite spot of his to read in the cold dark lonely nights of winter! This was definitely the most used room of the big mansion..a place for him to brood and tinker! Matt was sat at a cluttered table near the books working on his sonic Screwdriver again. He knew he shouldn't while his mind was still a mess, but what else could he do? if he stopped his mind would be in even more turmoil without the distraction. It sparked violently on his finger, “Argh, shit” He launched it across the room in an outburst of anger...anger that still didn't leave his body...that wouldn't leave him alone, he cursed again. Putting his head in his hands he shut his eyes breathing deeply before he flipped the table over like a madman...after a couple of minutes there was a beep on his intercom. He ignored it hoping that whoever it was would just get lost and leave him the hell alone to wallow in self-pity for a little while longer. Another three beeps sent his blood boiling to bursting point,he was not in the mood for this. He paced over to the nearest receiver like the surge of an oncoming storm and answered it fiercely trying to put the fear of death into whoever dared disturb his moment of angry brooding...

“WHAT DO YOU WANT!!!”

“Matt is that you? Its River...are...are you ok?” Matt took a step back and looked at the receiver in bewilderment like it had suddenly broken. He went to touch it again but pulled away at the last second and rubbed the back of his neck puzzled...wondering if perhaps it wasn't the receiver that was broken perhaps it was him that finally broke and he had apparently lost his mind! “Matt... Matt are you there, please come to the door Matt I'm worried about you!” Whether the voice was real or not he did as instructed. He cautiously walked down the hall to the front door and swallowed as he opened it slowly, only to see River stood there shivering in the cold night air. She took him in...his weary slightly shocked and drained pale face, crazy hair and dark tired eyes and immediately Slapped him aggrieved. This broke his apparent state of denial about her current existence on his front doorstep. “Ow...River...what the....l?”. She then threw her arms around him tightly, “Oh thank god Matt, what the hell is wrong with you, you scared the shit out of me!” He breathed in the comfort of her essence that filled his senses soothingly from the confines of her neck “I’m sorry, I didn't mean to upset you..i just needed some time!” She pulled back to get a good look at him, he looked exhausted, she held a hand to his cheek examining the cut there, “What did you do?...come on let's go inside, do you have a first aid kit?” He silently nodded and she followed him through the house as he led the way to his kitchen. He grabbed a kit from the cupboard and she took it silently and motioned for him to sit on one of the bar stools. She quietly got some wipes and began to tend to the cut on his face. He closed his eyes and relaxed to the feel of her fingers on his face and the closeness of her warm sweet-smelling body as she cleaned his wound gently and placed a couple of small butterfly stitches to knit it neatly together. She sighed... “There now, that's better “ She ran her fingers through his hair until he opened his eyes to look upon her once again. “So are you going to tell me what this is all about Matt, and why the hell you look like you haven't slept or eaten in a week? You should have called me if you were struggling with something.” He looked down and shifted in his seat a bit, River grabbed the nearest stool and placed it opposite him, she perched upon it stubbornly folding her arms, “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me!” He scoffed “perhaps I'll never tell you then River!”

River bit her lip, but remained neutral and quiet, giving him the time that he needed in order to press forward again! His eyes flickered up briefly “I err i kissed Clara!” River tried not to let the disappointment she felt within her show or any emotions reflect back to him for that matter...trying to remain somewhat professional in nature was her intention. “Right...well that's good then isn't it darling...that's what we've been working towards!” Matt nodded in accordance “Yeah it was good, Clara...she's nice...but she wasnt...i didn't feel like...Well to be perfectly honest she’s not you River is she? She could never be you...you make me feel differently!” Rivers heart started to beat rather rapidly at this unforeseen confession of his… “differently? She gave a nervous laugh…”Everyone may kiss differently Matt, we don't all use the same techniques, it's not written as an exact science you know!” Matt shook his head and stood up to pace, exasperated, “No River you don't understand, it's not about the technique... it's about how i feel...i feel….” He tugged his hair frustratedly ... “I feel Love River, I've fallen in love with you and I'm sorry ok, I couldn't help it...it just happened and I wasn't sure if it was real at first, but it is real and it's ridiculous isn't it...because I'm your patient and your my Doctor and I was so scared of losing you from my life River. I don't know what to do, please tell me what to do and I'll do it!...do you want me to go to another therapist..because i will, but please just stay my friend at least please...anything, because i need you River, your the only person who understands me who i can be myself with and that scares me shitless because I know I could never feel this way with anyone else ever again ...please tell me what to do...I'll do it!!! “

River stood in front of him her eyes glazed over with unshed tears, Matt was breathless after his speech and River was breathless listening to it as her heart raced a marathon through the brief moment of silence that followed... “Kiss me, Matt!” He did not expect that answer or the look of hope that flickered in her teary beautiful green eyes... “What?” She lifted a hand to caress his cheek. “Kiss me...please?” That was all it took for Matt to pace forward and crashed his lips against hers. Her familiar taste and teasing tongue instantly set him ablaze with a chemical reaction that could threaten to burn up entire planets in his wake. He couldn't help but crave more as his hand left the familiarity of her hips to slide up her back pulling her tighter into him. She moaned and the sound that escaped her lips sent him crazy with lust. He kissed her fiercely like never before, he wanted her to be his and the thought of her with other patients that entered his mind made him crash her against the kitchen unit as his hands slid under her perfectly curved bum to lift her easily upon the granite surface of the kitchen unit. He pressed himself between her legs and they wrapped around him tightly much to his delight and manly pride, he broke to trail kisses across her jaw and down her neck where he sucked and bit down to mark his territory. Her hand ran through his hair and down his back to the bottom of his t-shirt bringing her hand underneath to graze the skin there, he gasped at the sensation of her hands dancing against his skin. This wasn't a simple massage, this was scratching and clinging with abundance, a dire need for more...She tugged up his shirt impatiently and he broke to swiftly step back and pull it over his head. River did the same with her top and they crashed their lips back together once more feeling the delight and warmth of skin against skin, as they kissed passionately with force! Matts broke to kiss down her neck again, leaning into her more as he confidently unclipped her bra as if he’d done it a thousand times before..pulling it away in an instant. There was no hesitation this time when his hand trailed up her side to caress and gently squeeze her breast, he leaned down to take the other breast confidently in his mouth. River gasped and arched her back feeling overwhelmed by the sensations that took claim over her body and thoroughly surprised by his brave and determined ministration. He teased her nipple and tormented it with his teeth bringing along more gasps of erotic pleasure escaping her lips. He was learning what she liked like the scientist he was, listening intently to every whimper and cataloging ever grasp and flex of her fingers against his own body, as he swapped to do the same with her other breast. He played her fluidly, researching every touch to every sound and every sound made his confidence bloom with abundance and want more...oh so much more! River could barely take anymore of this as the heat burning below and within her needed some sort of release after his fixation with her breasts. “ Matt please” Her hands trailed down to cup his erection boldly and he groaned, but pulled away slightly, grabbing her wrist as she reached for his button “No...let me”

He undid the button on her trousers instead and with her help pulled them down along with her knickers and settled himself back between her legs to kiss her again. Then he kissed her cheek to whisper seductively into her ear. “I want to make you scream River,...if you need to, guide me!” He started to trail kisses down her torso and slid her bum to the edge of the surface, before he kneeled….he was never going to make a sandwich on this unit ever again without thinking about the night River sat here naked with her legs open as he took his first lick and taste of her delicious folds! She moaned and shifted and as Matt brought his hands down to steady her writhing. He noticed her squirm more when his tongue teased to top of her clit and he worked on this area more intently. He was dying to feel more, for her to feel more too, so he brought a finger to her entrance but broke to look up at her with question?... She looked flushed and beautiful, as she breathlessly nodded and whispered “yes! He smiled softly and pushed his finger carefully insider her torturously slow, she was tight and warm and wet he thought ...she felt wonderful. He started to thrust as he brought his tongue back to work on that special nub that created music from her lips, and uppon entering another finger, he curled them and she cursed “ Fuck Matt,...don't stop….please” After three more thrusts of his fingers she broke inside, tightening around him with flutters of clenching muscles and shaking of her legs. He pulled his fingers free of her and licked them humming in delight as he came up to meet her once again. She leaned against the cupboard eyes closed and breathless, as he brushed a curl away from her now very rosy flushed face. “Was that ...um..was i ok?” She giggled and opened her eyes to look at his adoring face “you were everything and more Sweetie, how’d you know what to do, I'm beyond impressed?” He chuckled, “I'm not that naive River, I've read books, watched kinky films and whatnot… and Google is always our friend!”

She shook her head at him, rolling her eyes, then shuffled a bit suddenly feeling the un-comfort of her butt-cheeks upon the cold unit. ”Any chance we go somewhere...ya know softer?” Matt smirked, “ what don't like my black granite tops Miss Song, i thought you would love the sparkles?” She laughed as he lifted her back to the ground “I love your Granite darling...its a bit cold on my arse though!” He took her hand after lifting her carefully off the unit, leading her directly to his bedroom “well we can't have a cold arse can we!” They both climbed into his bed on top of the blue striped sheets and snuggled, River kissed him softly “thank you Matt”. She placed her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her to hold her close. River was still naked and matt still had his trousers on. He still looked hard but did nothing more to ease his arousal or continue on the path that they started together. He was still afraid...the way he grabbed her wrist downstairs, however he made it appear that he just wanted to please her, she knew it was a distraction, he was still unsure, still holding back! She tickled his chest with her fingers trying to tease him into letting her show him her affections for him as he had for her, and began places kissed around his collarbone and then around his nipples, then down his stomach, , aiming to go lower she reached for his button again and he carefully took hold of her hand again bringing it up to his lips to place a delicate kiss on her knuckles. “You...Ya don't have to River, ...I'm..I'm ok!” She sat up to look at him carefully “what if i want to though, your doing so well Matt, let us try at least?” Matt sat up now...concern in his face “Do you feel sorry for me...is that it?”

River gasped moving away instantly shocked “WHAT!..you think I'm doing this out of pity Matt?” She shook her curls like an F5 Tornado…

”I can't believe you would ever think that of me!!!” She looked around for something to cover herself with...this was not a conversation that she wanted to have feeling naked and vulnerable as she was. She saw one of his shirts hanging on the door and marched over to swiftly put it over her body as her voice was becoming louder and more agitated while she fumbled to fasten the buttons. “You think i’d let you do that to me...pleasure me in the kitchen, here in your house and then i was going to try and give you a pity fuck to make you feel better...is that what you think i am Matt?” He shook his head throwing his legs over the side of the bed “Well it's what you do though isn't it...give yourself to people to make them feel better...to teach them...i just need to know if that's what this is?”

She finished the last button and folded her arms defensively voice still raised “So you think I would risk my career by retrieving your home address from Donna ...because I'm not supposed to do that Matt, i don't do home visits you know!!! And what...you think i came here, not because I was worried about you personally speaking or because i thought we were friends and I cared about you incredibly deeply... but because i felt sorry for you? Or perhaps I just needed the money right? Perhaps I didn't want to lose a valued paying customer like you...thanks allot Matt, at least i know where we both stand now!” She walked out of the bedroom and slammed the door violently...before he had chance to defend his inquiry. She started to put her pants and trousers back on when Matt walked into the kitchen…”River please, it's not what I meant...your twisting my words!” She marched to him firing daggers and poked a finger sharply into his chest “Ya know what Matt, I thought you were different, but all you see when you look at me is some hooker don’t you?..Some whore getting her offs with people who won't take advantage of her or some sick shit like that...because why would a woman want to help anyone in that way. The first moment you came into my office i thought you were different, and it didn't take me long to start and feel things for you that I shouldn't have felt. I had to help you even with my mixed feelings on the matter, it was my job, but I couldn't help myself Matt, I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with you! .But i had to be professional didn't i...i had to encourage you to date and to shag Clara, teach you to do everything ...everything that i wanted to have with you...but meant for someone else...Do you understand how difficult that was for me...do you have any idea?? ” Tears began to fall now…”I love you Matt, that's why I came here tonight because I thought you would never come back and i couldn't bear losing you...i couldn't bear not seeing you again...what else could I do?” He couldn't stand to see her like this, crying having only just managed to pull her knickers back up wearing his favorite shirt that looked sexy as hell on her. He wrapped her up shushing her soothingly through her hysterical meltdown. “I Love you sweetheart...stop this nonsense, I just didn't think it was ever possible you could ever love me back...why would you?” She pulled back and wiped the tears away quickly feeling slightly embarrassed about her emotional outburst of tears and snot...she was not a big cryer usually! She sighed, “ I love you because your you Matt, because you make me laugh and we connect like cheese and toast, because your everything I love and desire all rolled into one big gangly frustratingly annoying mass of limbs...and i want to be yours and you to be mine...what other reason is there?”

Matt smiled and playfully tapped her nose “I love you River Song, Stay with me tonight...please... we will figure this out together yeah?” She sniffed “oh...um...ok then” Matt chuckled “i like how difficult that answer was for you!” She rolled her eyes “shut up!” They settled down on the Sofa in his favorite room around the lit fireplace roaring ablaze ferociously and with a glass of wine in hand, well just in Matt's hand now anyway after River had already downed hers like sweet pop...Matt gave her a curious look…”Stress-related drinking...your fault Smith and that's the excuse I'm sticking with!” He laughed River had settled herself down sighing in a rare contentment and feeling surprisingly at home already, legs curled up Coseley and snuggled against Matt like they had always belonged together, he held her close with an arm around her possessively while sipping his wine. River scanned across her line of sight...“You have a lot of old books in here Matt...do you collect them or something?” He hummed a bit “yeah i suppose i do, i like to read and i don't like to let go of the things i read...so i suppose I'm a bit of a hoarder of books you could say!” Matt had put a t-shirt on before they got settled on the sofa but River still maintained skin contact as she twirled delicate fingers around his stomach under the fabric while she mused. He felt relaxed with it now though, not like he was in the massage room when she was this close to his...well his thingy-ma-bob...it was calming and he kind of enjoyed her touch on his stomach more than ever in this moment because they both knew where they stood now. And it was the first moment of peace that he had felt in a long time...if ever! “I like to read too, perhaps i should get a library card for your place... or are they all about `Advanced Quantum Mechanics`,” she sighed…” not sure i will get that one?” He laughed “No, I'm sure there are a few sexy psychopath books for you somewhere in there...Melody Malone is my favorite...she’s hot!” She sat up and shoved him playfully “wanker...i’ll read that one first and see what kinky shit you like then shall i?” He placed his wine down and leaned in to her a bit more “perhaps i like it because she's like you in a lot of ways...a complicated mystery that I so desperately want to solve!”. She raised her eyebrows and whispered seductively “well then, what are you waiting for Sherlock?”

Matt closed the distance and kissed her passionately... she responded to him with equal measures of lure as they caressed each other, their desire burning hotter than the untamed fire before them! River slowly pushed him back and climbed to straddle his lap as they kissed feverishly, his hands caressing her curls like they always dreamed of doing. She ground against him and he moaned into her mouth, she could feel his hard member below through his jeans but she didn't want to do anything more now without asking him, she had to be careful and mindful of her actions!... She pulled away from his lips and pressed her forehead to his breathlessly. It became difficult to think of the words. She didn't want to rush him in this...and yet he had pleasured her not so much as an hour ago like a pro on his kitchen unit of all places! The pride of what he had achieved already was immense and she didn't want to tip him too far over the edge if he wasn't ready for it. In all honesty though she was desperate to please him too, she wanted nothing more but to make him happy...she wanted to see him come undone for her, she wanted to free him of this burden that he had held onto for most of his life and set him free. How to proceed with the correct course of action was infuriating with the sheer lack of her indecisiveness! Matt swallowed as his breath regained to a manageable level their heads still pressed together as he held her upon his lap, he could read her mind clearly, “I know your unsure what to do with me...I'm so sorry for that”

She pulled away to look at him, “Darling we are in no rush I promise...take all the time you need ok, it’s fine honestly?” and she meant it! In fact if Matt was never able to solve his inability to have sex she would have coped with it...it wasn't about that with him...it was never about that. River loved Matt as a person, inside and out and as long as she could hold him like this she was thoroughly happy with just that. She just wanted him to be happy too and she knew he wasn't fully...not yet anyway. It was easy to see that he needed that physical bond, because that's the type of guy he was...he is far too sensitive as a person to be without it. He is incredibly loving in his outward affections and loves to touch people unconsciously...either through small gestures with his hands or patting someone's back jestfully. Sometimes touching an arm playfully after sharing a joke or friendly hugs while saying hello and goodbye, or to offer comfort...or more often than not... just because he felt like it! It was so obvious that he longed for the loving touch of another in an intimate connection that only two can share...because that's who he is as a person, he is a physical being and requires it to survive, like air to one's lungs! Matt brushed a curl around her ear tenderly, “I know you won't rush me River...that's why i want it more i guess ...you understand me, but i want to be with you in every possible way Sweetheart...let's go back to the bedroom and we can have a go, and if not, well then we will try again tomorrow and so on! River smirked and she nodded while climbing carefully off his lap, “I’ll have you know I'm feeling pretty confident about this darling...i have lots of tricks up my sleeve! ” winking... She held out her hand and he took it adoringly as he stood, “You do realize that's my sleeve your hiding your tricks in because that's my favorite shirt your wearing Song!” She leaned up on her toes placing a small chaste kiss upon his lips,, “you'll have to take it off then if your wanting it back sweetie...but I can't promise I won't pinch it again...it has my favourite smithy scent on!” Matt shook his head “well prepared to part with the shirt River because it's definitely coming off when we reach the bedroom, even though you look sexy as hell in it...i like what's underneath more!” “Is that so ...Well only if you remove your Jeans darling, will you ever get to remove my shirt!”

Matt ran a hand through his hair…”Fuck...this should be interesting then!”

They both giggled as the walked past K9 patrolling the halls who looked oblivious to the naughtiness of the two humans around him!


	6. Shower was fun...Bed was better!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the chapter title suggests...wink, wink lol
> 
> Thank you for all your lovely comments! x x

Matt led Alex by the hand into his Master bedroom. He had a wonderfully carved four-poster king-size bed that took a prime position against the far wall. There hung a very large eye-catching five-panel canvas of a Galactic, Nebula, Universe, in vibrant shades of purples, deep blues and burnt oranges, against a glittery black backdrop.   
She felt a deep lush carpet beneath her bare feet and curled her toes testingly into it.   
Matt let go of her hand as she browsed his room curiously looking at a cluttered shelf above a small lonely desk. He went to open a door on the sidewall and pointed inwards, “Ensuite if you need it love” .  
She smiled and nodded as she placed an old record she had pulled out back into its original spot. She eyed his old Gramophone skeptically with big brass horn, smirking with amusement, ”thanks Matt,... i can’t believe your so much into scientific tech and you have this old thing...does it even work... has it got woodworm?”  
Matt gasped slightly disgusted at her insults as he walked over to her, “of course it works River, this is a beautiful piece of history right here, she's stunning, just look at her.   
He brought the bottom of his t-shirt up to polish a bit of a fingerprint off the brass horn obsessively. Makes my records crackle lovely she does, you don't get that sort of noise from a crappy iPod you know !”  
River giggled and ran her fingers to ruffle his hair adoringly. “I didn't say I didn't like it darling, you only have to look at my office to know i love old things. God your so bloody cute, I love your antique thing darling, perhaps you could play her for me after I’ve finished playing with you...or even during if you like?” 

She gave a cheeky wink and sashayed over towards the en-suite enticingly, his shirt just barely covering her bottom, as his gaze ran down her silky toned legs  
.   
`Sexy As Fuck`

She stood in the doorway as her eyebrows raised, “Hmm that's one amazing shower Mr Smith...pretty impressive actually, care to join me so I don't get washed away?”   
She looked over to him with fluttering lashes and a devilish smile that made him twitch in his pants involuntarily... he swallowed!   
“Oh um ok...i erm...ok then!”  
Matt walked up and past River as she eyed him seductively. He scratched his face a bit nervously as he brushed past her to go turn the shower on. Holding his now trembling fingers under the running water as he adjusted it to the right temperature as a focus to calm himself a bit.  
“ok that's ready for you then...us...i mean ready for us!”  
He had never been fully naked before in front of anyone...his nerves were starting to pick up pace and River noticed immediately as she got closer. She stood on her tiptoes and leaned in to kiss his lips gently combing her fingers through the hair on the back of his neck. “Hey...its only me darling...do what you did when i did the massage, yeah? You can do that i know you can...just leave your shorts on for now if it makes you feel better!”  
Matt smiled “Yeah, that's good, I can do that, Matt pulled away and took off his shirt and jeans as River slid out of her knickers, but left the shirt for him...that was the deal she made with him after all...jeans for shirt!”

She walked up to him after he kicked away his jeans and ran her fingers along his chest through the small smattering of hair that existed there. “So bloody sexy hotness Mr Mc Fitty-pants...you really don't know how hard it is for me not to just jump your bones right now Smith!”   
Matt let out a girly giggle and placed his hands on her hips, “not so bad yourself Song, i think it's time I reclaimed my shirt don't you?”  
She looks down “i don't know darling...i think it looks bloody good on me, I'm not sure i care to part with it now, if I don't get to see your crown jewels n stuff”  
He waggled his finger playfully in front of her tutting “No, no, you bad, bad girl, you can't break the contract, my jeans for this shirt….that was the deal my love”   
He placed his hands on her shoulders and ran his fingers excruciatingly slowly down to the first button and proceeded to unfasten them one by one. She looked into his eyes seeing them darken and noticed the now very apparent bulge in his shorts, she smirked, as he undid the final button and brought his hands boldly back up to her shoulders again. Parting the shirt over and letting it drop to the floor as she stood there now naked before him.   
He looked at her...all of her body...completely naked and vulnerable silently stood before him, “Fuck...River...your...your...crist your so bloody beautiful” 

He surged forward to claim her lips and to hold her tightly against him as he wrapped her up possessively in his arms. She kissed him back passionately with equal fever and gasped as his hard member pressed against her tummy. She pulled away and took his hand as they entered the shower leaving Matt still comfortable in the safety of his boxer-shorts.  
The hot water hit her skin wonderfully and she pulled him under the pouring rain claiming his lips once again. Her hands ran rhythmically along his back, then she risked a bold move and carefully pushed Matt back against the wall so she could press herself more against him.   
He groaned at the feel of her naked wet flesh against his body, primarily his cock.  
He ran his hands up along her sides then across to graze and caress her breasts.   
She gasped arching back at the sensation when his thumb grazed her nipples...he took this opportunity to lean down and take one in his mouth as she moaned with pleasure.   
Those noises...bloody hell, he was going to cum in his pants if she kept emitting that sensual sound from her lips. The pressure he felt below as blood pumped ferociously to one area, in particular, was becoming unbearable as she ground herself against him.  
He pulled away quickly from her breast after another forceful grind of her hips and he threw his head back against the wall, gasping…..  
“Crist River...its too much...it feels too much...i ... I can't cope with it!”

She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips softly as he heaved breathlessly, with water running relentlessly down his torso. He tried so very much to clear his mind and focus.   
“let me help you then my love” She ran her fingers through his hair…” these feelings are normal, everything is how it should be ...look at me, trust me...i want to take care of you...let me show you how much I love you!”  
He took a slow deep breath deep into his lungs looking into her eyes thoughtfully and although he still felt scared and nervous. He trusted her, he loves her and knew he would risk anything for her. He found his body had already taken over to give her a silent nod of permission to go right ahead.   
As she went to make a move against him, he halted her with a steady hand.   
He couldn't control the natural embarrassment that he was already feeling within…he sighed...”Can i...can you just turn around a moment while i...um..it would be easier if your not looking at me right now!”  
River smirked and gave a cheeky wink, then turned to grab the shower gel looking away from him while she soaped up her body.   
Matt lingered for a brief moment while he stood with his hands on the hem of his shorts psyching himself up to do the most ridiculous thing in the world.   
This wasn't simply just jumping into Niagara falls...this was taking his boxers off in front of somebody...a very sexy somebody no less...this could be life-threatening and he needed a steady nerve to survive it at all!

`What if I'm not good enough? I know I'm not small...what if I'm too big and it doesn't fit? what if it's the wrong shape? what if i just cum when she looks at it? What if I throw up, or pass out...shit she's perfect and I'm just plain pathetic! I'm just not good enough for anybody...especially her. I won't last a minute! She will learn to hate me because of this! Perhaps she's already regretting this...? Shut up ...shut up ...JUST SHUT UP...I HATE YOU!!!   
Count Matt, ...you can do this....1...2...3 ...no wait...1 ...2...` 

He swiftly pulled down his boxers and kicked them away with a spark of anger inflicted upon them due to the psychological prison they had become.   
He growled and turned abruptly away from River fully to press his forehead against the wall with his back to her.   
He began to lose air from his lungs again, feeling the brewing of a panic attack clinging to his back like a torturous plague. His hands palmed the walls desperately trying to keep steady himself.  
why couldn't he get a grip of anything?... This phobia was frightening and tormenting like an arachnophobic in a phone box being showered with spiders! 

`Breath Matt its River...she loves you...she told you so...she doesn't care about this stupidity, she won't laugh or run...she will help you...breath...just breath`

He struggled, to gather his words, “River...please...help me!”

His breathing was rapid as the hot water run riot around his trembling limbs.  
He jumped unxexpectidly when he felt a cool liquid being poured over his shoulders in a generous amount, a second later he felt soft delicate hands running through it tenderly to form a smooth lava across his back. Her sensual fingers ran up his neck and into his hair where he hummed at the feeling when she scratched his scalp gently with her nails, she leaned into his back he could even feel her nipples when her bare breasts pressed against him. She then spoke softly into his ear.

“I’ve got you my love...feel me, hear me Matt and breath steady. Don't worry yourself so... your body is perfect just like your soul and you don't have to perform tricks to win my heart darling...you already have it...it's yours believe me!   
I expect nothing from you but the warmth and existence of your presence next to mine. I'm so proud of you darling.   
Feel my hands across your back...they mean you no harm. Breath. I would never hurt you, I'm here to protect you, to love you, to dance with you in the rain.  
There is no judgment here, no failure or demeaning consequences to any actions or lack of you could bestow.   
Just be yourself and don't linger in the painful past or try negatively to predict the future. ...just be Matt ...be in this moment here with me, right now under the falling water with someone who loves you...loves you without a single doubt or question!”

She kissed his shoulder tenderly as she felt his body relax once more ...“though I would very much like to look into those charming hazel eyes of yours again... if your willing?”

Matt lifted his head away from the wall turning to her fully as she still maintained the contact of her body consciously.   
He looked straight into her eyes through the strands of his fallen fringe and she smiled deliciously as she looked straight back into his. Her fingers came to brush the hair away so she could see him properly away from the last of his flagging shields.  
“There now...that's better!” She beamed!

What she did then he didn't expect...he thought she might just go straight down to stare at or perhaps touch the crown jewels as it were. But instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and lean in to place her head on his chest for one of her amazing therapeutic hugs.   
It felt good, it felt really good actually..a simple hug even if it was with both of them entirely naked and drenched in a shower was enough to help him breathe normally again.   
He wrapped his arms around her and finally relaxed fully once more feeling her smile as she sighed contentedly against his chest.   
She eventually felt his heart settle against her ear encouragingly…   
He spoke jestfully after she had cleverly helped him to overcome things and find his feet once again, “so…do you come here often!”

She giggled into him “ No...but i plan to darling...i plan to `CUM` here quite a bit in the future... with you!”  
It took him a moment before he chuckled “god i love you River Song, my bad, bad girl” He squeezed her tighter. “Thank you, sweetheart!“  
She leaned back “No thank you Matt...when I woke up this morning I never expected to find myself stood naked with you in your shower tonight. Kinda like it though, don't tell Donna!” Matt laughed “Hell no...what happens in the shower stays in the shower!” 

He leaned in to kiss her lips unable to resist her naked self any longer. She opened up to him and as their tongues collided with passionate intent, their bodies becoming steamier than the room that contained them.   
River could feel Matts hardness still pressed against her and now he was relaxed again she took the opportunity to run her hand slowly down his torso, lower and lower, taking careful note of the hitch in his breath as she ran below his belly button. She circled teasingly around the side of his thigh and brought her hand up from below to tenderly cup his balls.   
He gasped and broke contact, “fuck River”   
She kissed across his cheek whispering seductively in his ear before giving it a nibble naughtily, “Your gonna love this trust me...don't hold back!”

She kissed her way down his neck along his collar bone, slowly making her way down his torso to rest on her knees before him. Steadying herself with her hands on his thighs, giving him one last careful consideration before her eyes darkened to the blackest night he'd ever seen, with a pinprick of the fiercest fire raging within...The seductress was in town and she was going to have her way with her prey tonight!

His heart raced and rumbled like lightning and thunder colliding together at once as his chest heaved heavily. He looked down to her internally battling a confused mess of incomprehensible thoughts... Fear? Anticipation? Run? Stay? Touch me? Don't? Nervousness? Want?, Not want? Want again?   
He struggled with any sort of coherent thought at that moment, right until the very moment she made contact with him. She Licked a long line of her trailing tongue from his base to his tip, placing a delicate kiss on top.   
He couldn't help but groan, crashing his head back against the wall as his hands slammed back against the cold tiles too, pressing into the walls with the flats of his palms.   
She licked again with her amazing tongue, then wrapped her mouth over the top of him and proceeded downward with her head as far as she could go..the feeling was immense...“Ah... River...Fuck…”  
She cupped and massaged his balls with her mindful fingers and resumed a steady sensual rhythm around his cock...doing some kind of special twirly thing with her tongue over his tip with every stroke upwards...long...slow and deliberate.   
He'd never felt anything so intense like this before...Having only ever used his own hand as a meer pacifier. This was completely different however...having Rivers mouth wrapped around his cock, warm and wet, deep and shallow...with the feel of her tongue curling around and swiping his slit…

”FUCK” 

That word seemed to be stuck on auto-repeat as he felt a familiar pressure building within, although this felt more intense, more extreme and completely out of his hands...obviously!. He panted and gasped and flustered as his hands flung away from the wall wanting to grasp her head, or hair, something...anything, to gain control of the intensity he was feeling. Would that be rude...to hold her there? Would it be rude to thrust against her as his body ached to do so?  
Something grabbed one of his hands, while his eyes were scrunched in debate and placed his hand confidently into her hair.   
He groaned and she hummed against him causing a vibration surging through his member that made him curse again. He felt better holding her hair though, but he still held onto a thrust not wanting to hurt her in any way. He was getting close….he wasn't going to last much longer...he started to panic as she hastened her pace a bit more.  
“River...i'm ...gonna….i ...don't…i cant”....  
He couldn't form any kind of a coherent sentence as the fire within him raged and burned, feeling that the volcano was inevitably about to explode any second.  
Unable to hold on any longer he flew his head back and scrunched his eyes tightly and he let out a deep groan along with Rivers name, as he finally thrusted letting go of every tension he had ever felt, cumming deep into her mouth in a wave of euphoria and relief.

Blackness took him for a brief moment as he panted heavily while trying to focus again.   
He felt a gentle hand stroking his hair and a scattering of kisses against his cheek as he began to feel the water from the shower running on his body once more.  
He focused enough and finally saw her face smiling back at him ...God, she was beautiful!  
He took in his surroundings once more knitting his brows questionably... “Um River...err, what are we doing on the floor?”  
She smirked, “Well darling you appear to have lost the function of your legs when you climaxed!”

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it again looking down at his nakedness and very happy penis….he looked back up to her with the cheekiest grin she had ever seen and started to giggle. She couldn't help but giggle along with him, then they both erupted into a fit of uncontrollable laughter…Matt was ecstatic... “Bloody hell River...I definitely wanna do that again... that was bloody fantastic...your amazing...God I'm such a lucky bastard!” he chuckled!  
River rolled her eyes and laughed, as he pulled her in for a peck, “Thank you River, next time i wanna do you in the shower too!”  
River sat up, still laughing “well there is an offer i just cannot refuse Mr Smith”

They both got out of the shower to get dried then climbed into Matts luxuriously big bed for a naked snuggle under the sheets.  
River rested her head on Matts chest as he held her tightly into him like precious treasure nobody was allowed but himself. He felt like the Luckiest Guy in the world at that moment. River meant everything to him..he never wanted to let her go...he thought about her going to work and doing what she did in the shower with him with other men. How often did she do things like that?... How many men does she sleep with per week or day even?... He felt a strange sense of jealousy and possessiveness roll over him and he squeezed her that bit tighter as he brooded.   
She glanced a look up at him “You ok darling? You're awfully quiet”  
He looked down deep into her loving green eyes, “Yeah, was just thinking about some stuff that's all!”  
She perked up a bit, “Mm what kind of stuff...kinky?”  
He smirked ...bopping her on the nose “no naughty girl, welllll not in the last five minutes or so anyway”   
He scratched his cheek with his free hand “Um actually i was thinking, how many of your patients you actually...well...ya know, do what we did in there with and also...err well the other main thing ...do you do that every day with your patients...or is it a weekly thing?”

River sighed closing her eyes briefly then looked back to him, his gaze uncertain, “it's not as often as you might think….most of it is just talk and touch like we had done before and not all problems involve sex in that way. Some men may just have difficulty to control themselves near a woman, or some are just far too embarrassed about their own body...   
Very intimate sexual encounters that can happen with patients are maybe...sometimes 1 every 2 months...something like that!  
I know you're going to find my job difficult darling...i know that i would do if we swapped shoes most certainly!”  
She chewed her bottom lip a bit, “ I wouldn't be able to stand it if I'm honest with you. It would kill me to know that you were doing something like that with another woman!”

She pushed herself further up and caressed his cheek, leaning up to place a gentle kiss on his lips.   
“It's going to be difficult I know, but if we talk about it and be open with each other like we are right now, then I know we can somehow figure it all out together.   
I promise you my Matt that I will always tell you on the days that things like that are liable to happen and i really need you to listen to me when i say this darling,... I would never give them everything I give to you! You will be the only one allowed to have all of me ...always, please trust me, my heart is only for you!”

Matt swallowed and sighed as he twisted one of her curls around his finger. “I don't like it...i will get jealous, I already am River...your mine now and i know that sounds very possessive of me to say, but that's how i feel deep inside and i don't want to lose you!”   
He took a deep breath and released her curl…” but i know it's your job and how hard you struggled to get there...i know how much it means to you to help people, so I would never take that away from you! Just promise to tell me yeah?... On those days...it will help to stop me imagining different scenarios in my head!”   
He smirked, “and I'm afraid i may have to fully ravish after those days, to claim back my territory fiercely over and over again!”  
River kissed his chest and spoke between kisses, “i...promise ...i'll ...tell you...my darling!”

He hauled her up feeling like he needed to claim her right the fuck now just thinking about it and kissed her with raw unwavering passion rolling her over as he leaned across her growling.   
Their tongues fought frantically and he burned inside as his hands roamed across her body wanting to touch her everywhere all at once and unable to settle on a particular spot.  
Their hearts were beating rapidly in sync within their chests, as they parted breathlessly. Matt continued to scatter kisses across her cheek and down to suck and nibble her neck. River panted and gasped as heat surged to her core... “Fuck...how many hands…..do you….have?”   
She felt him smirk against her neck and she could feel the hardness of his length against her leg. He grinded a bit and groaned, trying to find some ease as he kissed her ravishingly.   
She knew this was as good a time as any for him and so she tried to string some words out, as she struggled to maintain at least some control through her own arousal….  
”Matt...make love….let me...fuck….i wanna ...lets try to….Matt….fuck” 

Ok so trying to have a conversation whilst Matt was seductively sucking on her neck and nibbling her ear driving her fundamentally delirious was not the best way to convince him to shag... but after a few seconds her words seemed to sink in to his brain and he pulled away slowly to look at her flustered face carefully.

“Can you...can you... go on top?”  
She beamed and immediately used all her power to push him off and over as she straddled herself over him. His eyes grew wide as he death gripped her hips tight enough to bruise.  
She was on top now looking down at him adoringly. Her full and luscious breasts were temptingly close enough for him to take into his mouth...the idea of coarse crossed his mind but he was too scared to move in this moment...Too scared to do anything in fact.   
He was rather unsure of what he should be doing actually, then a thought suddenly occurred to him.   
“Um River...i...do I need to...wear ...condom...should i...i don’t have...?” 

She placed a finger gently on to silence his lips, “Hush...i’m clean get tested all the time...have to because of my job...also I'm on the pill darling “   
She shrugged “But we can wait if you wanna go shopping at Asda,... Although I think we are good just for tonight don't you?”   
He nodded silently as her finger was still pressed against his lips...She smirked and he couldn't help but pucker his lips to kiss that naughty dominating finger of hers.   
Her eyes twinkled and he reached up to pull her closer to his face, whispering so sweetly that her heart just melted into a puddle of goo that sank in abundance between her legs, “River...what...what should I do?”  
Stroking his hair...“Just kiss me, sweetie!”   
And so he did and he kissed without abandon, scattering everything and every emotion he ever had! Pouring all of his fear and doubts and insecurities and immeasurable love into her mouth like a poem.   
She moaned at this new level of heightened intimacy...she sensed his worry, but also his lustful longing to get through it. She could feel the fear on his tongue tangling with hers for security, but also taste his passion and love in his mouth like a precious honey, that she devoured wholeheartedly!

She rolled her hips against him and he groaned into her mouth, then after another roll and a moan his hips gave an involuntary buck and she smiled into him as they kissed, he broke away breathlessly “argh, such a tease Song!”  
She reached down to take him in hand, and he hissed when her fingers wrapped around his length...“No more teasing”  
She lined him up with her core boldly as his chest heaved anxiously in a strange and scary anticipation.   
She looked deep into his dreamy hazel eyes soothingly, trying to create a sense of calm over the tenseness he now suddenly outwardly projected. 

“your safe,... you're perfect,... i love you...no expectations,... just be! ...Just be with me!”

He nodded, swallowing heavily as his fingers gripped her hips like a vice.   
She placed one more chaste kiss to his lips then slowly sank herself onto him, over him.   
He took a deep breath at the sudden sensation, feeling everything happening at once.   
The warmth and wetness of her heat and the tightness of her muscles that enveloped him, engulfing him into her.   
She couldn't take him all in one go and after only halfway she paused and raised up again slightly.   
He gripped her hips more tightly groaning. She apologized knowing how difficult this was for him to maintain any level of control. “Sorry, darling, your quite majestic...what a lucky girl I am!”   
She giggled and Matt just cursed as she finally sank all the way down this time.   
They both moaned in unison, “ ahh...Fuck River, you feel so good...i never...god your perfect...are you alright...am i too much?”   
Smiling wholeheartedly, shaking her head, “darling your perfect...wonderful, I'm so proud of you and love you so much!”

She took his tight hands away from her hips and held them either side of his head interlacing their fingers sensually as she leaned over and playfully whispered into his ear.   
“I've got you now Mr Smith, your all mine !” He turned and pecked her lips.   
She started to move slowly riding up and down his length and he bit his lip, breathing heavily and shutting his eyes.   
She whispered again “Look at me Matt, see me!”   
He opened his eyes again and after a brief flicker of doubt about her existence, he saw her! His angel, his goddess, his saviour…!  
He fought off her hands and wrapped his arms around her back, flipping them over suddenly. River yelpt at his unexpected move but recovered swiftly as he claimed her lips once more, to take control and roll his own hips above her now.   
She wrapped her legs around his waist and he broke away to have a quick glance behind...just wanting to see how she held him tightly with those perfectly formed and toned pins of hers!   
He felt the familiar pressure building fast within and was struggling not to immediately chase after that lightning surging through him wreaking havoc with his conscious bodily functions.  
He wanted to see her come undone first. He tried to focus on a way to achieve that...he was losing it ...building faster as he pounded into her now much more ungracefully than before…”River ...come with me ...how do i?” 

She understood immediately. God she loved this man so much, always thinking about her needs before his own...her bloody gorgeous sweetie!   
She brought one leg up for him to hold which sent him deeper directly to that spot inside and she arched and moaned at the new depth and angle…”Yes like that” she panted!  
She brought her hand away from his back and reached directly for her clit. He saw the action and immediately slapped her hand away taking control of her needs himself. She attempted a laugh at his determined quest but it came out as another moan as soon as his thumb circled her perfectly like a fucking god! “Fuck...holy fuck, Matt”

He was flagging losing the momentum of his hips as he clung to what little control he had left, “River…..i” .   
Another pump and flick of his thumb sent her crashing and shaking around him, as his name left her lips in the most amazing tone he’d ever heard.   
He immediately felt her muscles squeeze and clench his cock, milking him for everything he was worth and it was with great relief and pleasure that he was finally able to finally let go. He shattered above her in a mass of sweat and limbs and immeasurable pleasure.   
They were both just as breathless as each other with racing hearts that were finally beginning to slow into a sedated and peaceful contentedness.   
She kissed his dampened head lovingly, “I know that was your first time and everything darling...but...fuck Matt... that was the best sex I've ever had!”  
He lifted himself off and pulled out of her, beaming “I'm just chuffed I lasted more than a minute and saw to my girl in time...that's all i wanted!”  
She smirked, “You were amazing darling and bonus...your not a virgin anymore...Do we throw a party or something to celebrate !”  
He chuckled, “I dunno, I just know that I never want to get out of this bed ever again and i really want to make you squirm and make more noises...Right, I think I'm nearly ready for round two...you up to another go?”  
Laughing “you're going to be quite an insatiable handful i can already see it... I may need to get restraints of some sort!”  
Matt’s eyes widened and he sat up quickly like a child on Christmas morning...“HANDCUFFS!!...Handcuffs River...Yes!!...I'm totally into that, I just know it! Do you like squirty cream?”

They both giggled and kissed, cuddling each other contentedly knowing that this was just the start of many adventures yet to come between them. 

...Next stop...sex Everywhere!


End file.
